Diet Week 2

Okay, this whole Sunday thing has gone down the toilet! Either way, little bro's house doesn't have internet and despite my 2 hour stay at Starbucks to use their internet (I KNOW I'm not the only one who does that!) I had a baby asleep on one of my arms and it seriously stunted my typing flow.

My vacation went well, I went off track just barely- had pizza the night we got there after I cleaned his house, had a milkshake for dessert on Saturday, and pumpkin pie on Sunday. I over ate a little, I walked a lot- I still don't think it equaled out so I need to be a bit more strict with this.

I had some great food, I have a new appreciation for sandwiches. They are SO portable, easy to eat with a baby, filling, and best of all you can make them packed full of nutrients and still very healthy.

Overall I had a great time, I didn't do too badly. I really missed my brother and it was nice to catch up.

No recipe, I cooked the usual for my brother. I have a tip though...

Tip:
Use cream cheese instead of mayo, dressing, or butter on your sandwich. Surprisingly enough I did not miss anything about my sandwich because the creamy cheese pulled everything all together very easily. Typically I use one triangle of cow cheese on my sandwich and it covers the whole thing without going overboard on my cheese portion, cheese slices off the brick are an invitation for me to get crazaaay sometimes.

Ottawa!

I'm on the train right now with my little family, we're travelling to the Saudi Embassy- 5 hours away. It doesn't hurt my brother lives there now, I'm so excited to see him. I love Ottawa, next to Chicago, it's probably my favourite city. It's got the European allure, yet pleasantly Canadian, cleaner than any city I've ever been. Had we decided to stay here, it's where we would live.

I can wait to eat delicious food- Ottawa is known for it's amazing and diverse cuisine and I think the best shwarama in Canada is there. My brother works at this burger place everyone talks about, organic meat and innovative menu. This new diet really is just an excuse to find love in food again, renew my relationship with it and try new thing I don't feel like s*** for eating! So, equipped with a slightly older baby, a husband on a mission, a new appreciation for food, a beautiful winter coat, and love for my bro, I expect to have a great time inshallah.

What I just ate:
Chicken Sandwich- chicken, lettuce, cow cheese, 100 calorie Bun- ancient grain variety, Water, some Tortilla chips plain.

Diet week 1

Not a good start in terms of a blog update, I said Sunday and here I am updating on Wednesday. The diet itself is going very well, week one was about food discovery. I didn't count calories as much as I looked at how many were in each food, at the end of the day I didn't tally, but by doing that I was able to cut down and still eat what I want in good proportion. I think that's why this week was so successful  aside from having a lovely and encouraging husband by my side!

The favourite recipe this week is a toss up, essentially the meals are the same but different flavors  I truly don't know what one I enjoyed, my two favourite meals were adapted so it was hard to decide. I love duck, especially duck in mandarin pancakes, so one lettuce wrap was asian flavoured. The next was lettuce tacos, crispy iceburg lettuce was used as a shell and provided the same crunch with less of the fullness you get from taco shells. I really enjoyed eating what I love and making it healthy, it was a delicious guilt free week.

I knew I was going to love the Lettuce Tacos but the Asian Wraps were a huge surprise and went way above my expectations. I ate a ton and only ate roughly 300 cal. These things are a huge deal right now, most asian joints will have them- though homemade is always better!

Asian Lettuce Wraps

1 head iceburg lettuce, pulled apart with leaves intact
2 cups shredded cabbage
1/2 cup carrot shredded
5 green onions 2 chopped and 3 sliced long
2 lbs ground chicken or turkey
1/2 cup peanuts chopped
1/2 cup chow mein noodles, uncooked
1/2 hoisin sauce
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup sesame oil

Brown off your meat until its cooked through and add cabbage, add 1/4 cup of your carrot, green onions chopped. Let cook for 3-5 minutes. In a bowl add 3 tbs hoisin, half the soy sauce, 1/4 cup water, and half the sesame oil- add this mixture to your meat and let simmer on low until dinner. Arrange peanuts, carrot, onions, chow mein, and leaves on a plate. In a bowl add hoisin, soy, and sesame oil and use as a dressing for the wraps. Assemble and eat. Enjoy.

Anxiety!

Anxiety is the worst, especially when your life has no room for it. I should be enjoying my husband and baby, not worrying about the outcome of my brother in laws first visit to the ministry in Saudi. We've got to get this started if we're ever going to be there, so it starts today.

Ya Allah, pleaaaase let this happen. Let's get started at least!

Pray for us, wish us luck, anything you can give. I hope they don't give my BIL the 'they were wrong' spiel.
I just want my husband to be happy and my MIL and FIL to meet their granddaughter.

Update soon.

Diet. Die it.

I'm never fad dieting again. I had tried it a couple of years back and it left me moody and deprived. I felt like I had no control over what I got to do, mostly because what I do is usually food related!
I find it pretty funny that I posted a recipe and then a post on dieting. I don't know what it is about food guilt, but it's a sonofa.
I had a baby 5 months ago, I lost the baby weight and magically I've gained 10 lbs since a month postpartum. Thats 2.5 lbs a month, and that's a mean realization. 10 lbs? I don't see a reason for this, unless I'm pregnant again and I just don't know it- as unlikely as that is. I only gained 26 lbs with Eliana, so 10 lbs is kind of frightening!

I'm going to set some goals and every Sunday mark my progress.

1. One cup of juice, one cup of milk, the rest is water. I drink far too much juice, it's empty calories, tons of sugar, and my affinity for chocolate milk has gotten out of hand. 
2. One treat a day. I'm seriously snacking on something every couple of hours- and none of it is really healthy. If I have dessert, I had it. No midnight snacks, movie snacks, afternoon snacks.
3. Honey, not sugar. Tea with honey.
4. Less bread, preferably 2 pieces a day and no more. I eat a lot of bread for breakfast/lunch.
5. No CANDY. Baked goods, fine, candy is too much.
6. Walk/clean/work out daily. One out of three. And by cleaning I mean cleaning. 
7. One serving at meal time, make a plate and eat it. No more eating out of serving dishes on the table unless someone is over and I'm making a presentation.
8. We've been awesome with our greens lately, eating them almost every meal sans breakfast. I need to eat more fruit.
9. Two water bottles of water a day- I have a tall pink bottle that is 24 ounces. For the last week I've had 2 bottles of water and I've seen an improvement on my skin.
10. Decent lunch, small dinner twice a week. We like big dinners here, but for digestions sake we'll mix it up.
11. Biggest meal is breakfast. When I ate a hardy breakfast my milk was better, I felt better, I didn't have the urge to nap all day either.
12. 1-2 meals a week without beef or chicken. We very rarely eat beef, so to save money and help me introduce new protein I've decided to take meat out of my diet twice a week. 
13. Drink at least 4 ounces before a meal- drink when hungry. 

So, that's that. Here is my new and improved lifestyle, inshallah. I'm seriously hoping to stick to it and lose weight within the next six months. Let's say, by my daughter's first birthday I'd like to have lost 25 lbs. That's like 7 months, so it seems fair. If I lose more I'll be so happy. If I just make myself healthier, I'll still be happy. 

I'd like to lose weight before Eliana is 1 because my husband and I decided to try for another at that time, and I'd hate to be overweight and pregnant. I had lost 15 lbs when I got pregnant with Eliana so I'd like to do the same for the next one if I can. 

The Bakewell Tart!

I love this tart, it's sweet and nutty, perfect for fall.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and make a simple pie crust (or buy one), I found and use several from google, I don't use just one (mainly because I'm trying to find the best one). You need to blind bake this crust and let it cool before putting the frangipan inside, blind bake for 10 minutes.

Don't ask me the definition of frangipan because all I really know is how to make it! I love it because the texture is so nice, not something creamy or fruity like you'd usually find in a pie. Reminds me of marzipan for obvious reasons.

The recipe:
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup almonds- ground
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup jam, traditionally raspberry (optional)- we used nutella once!
2 eggs
2 tbs flour
2 tbs brown sugar
powdered sugar for sprinkling
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp almond extract
a handful of flaked almonds for the top

Cream butter, sugar, vanilla and almond extract in a bowl. Mix in the eggs one at a time and then add your flour and almonds ground. Whip it well. Spread jam on the bottom of the baked pie shell, fill with frangipan. Bake 25 minutes and then add almonds and brown sugar- making sure the brown sugar is evenly and finely covering the top. Bake an additional 10 minutes, check, additional 5- 10 minutes if necessary. When cooled sprinkle powdered sugar on top.

Uh Oh. Trouble at home!

The husband is NOT happy today. 

:(

Sleeping with Bibi

My daughter loves this toy, it's a chicken made by Mama's and Papa's. It jingles, it's got teething loops, grips, a mirror. It's also disgusting and terribly dirty. I don't honestly know how to wash it! It collects fur/hair like crazy, it just absorbs all of her drool. I tried blasting it with the jet on our shower, it took a day to dry and within the next 48 hours it looked worse.

It's been a disaster. Anything that preoccupies my daughter is a friend of mine, all except Bibi. She loves it, in terms of use it's the best 15$ I've ever spent. As for hassle and worry, it's a 10. I'm so worried she's going to end up with a major case of thrush or get sick, I have thought of putting it in the washing mashing but I'm afraid of what the detergent would do to it (and baby). Any ideas on how I could  clean it.

I mean, it's become a part of every day life: I see my daughter- I see Bibi. I lay my head to rest at night- Bibi.  Last night my husband and I tried to pry it from her hands, as soon as she realized Bibi was missing all hell broke loose. She hasn't woken up crying like that since her first tooth broke through! As soon as we gave it back she slept, peacefully. I thought this kind of thing didn't happen until kids were like 2ish?

 She's never stayed in the stroller as long as she has with Bibi...

 She takes her agression out on Bibi...

At the end of the day she still loves Bibi. It's complicated...

Eliana

"And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten." 19:23

When Lovey and I got pregnant we were over the moon. We had a strange feeling that something was about to happen, and after 3 months, we were pregnant. Nothing brightened my life as much as knowing the greatest symbol of our love dwelled inside of me, growing, thriving. 

I planned, I educated myself and packed information into my brain like never before. I readied myself and when we found out she was a girl I began to wonder how she looked and how I would love her: my own little girl. My legacy. I loved feeling her kick me, it made my heart flutter, and when I heard her heartbeat it was like a dance of love only for me. 

I knew we were close, this little thing and I. She was, after all, the only person who heard my heartbeat from the inside. I talked to her and read to her, I washed all of her clothes and sang her songs. Her father returned to us when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant and we waited for her to come.

We waited a week...
and another.
A month.

I was anxious at this point, my midwife had me at the hospital every day for monitoring. I refused an induction until the last moment, I wanted her to be safely growing within me as long as she wanted. Every day the hospital sent me home, "She's quite comfortable." I knew she was. 

Alas a time came where the midwife advised I get induced, that progress was slow and that she couldn't stay there for much longer because she was growing still and she wouldn't receive the sustenance she needed any longer. My husband and I agreed and it was scheduled for Thursday.

Well, Wednesday Lovey and I went out, we talked like old friends, we enjoyed each other, went home and got into bed. I mourned because my pregnancy was at an end and I didn't get to sleep until 2 in the morning. Come 4 am Thursday, I woke up with cramps. It picked up within an hour and contractions were 9 minutes apart. By 10 am I was sure I was in labor (I don't really see how anyone can mistake pains like that!) I called the midwife and she came to our house. The midwife checked me. Things were well, I was far from ready though.

We continued to prepare for our unmedicated homebirth, by 8 at night the pain was so bad I was sobbing, I didn't want anyone to touch me. I had never felt like that before, I was exhausted. I prayed that it would be over soon, though I dreaded the idea of having to push because I was so tired. By 1 am I was still in labour, I was falling asleep between contractions, it terrified Lovey- I was screaming one minute, sleeping the next. My contractions were a minute and a half apart but I was still only at 4 cm. By 4 am the midwife looked me in the eye and told me there was something wrong and we should go to the hospital. I was so tired, in so much pain. I nodded and we were on our way. I don't remember getting to the hospital or being admitted. 

It was at 5:00 am I was given an epidural, I couldn't sleep, I was writhing in pain- too tired to cry. I was cold, my hands were numb from gripping things. I had to sleep, I had been awake at this point for 25 hours and a c-section was likely due to exhaustion. They gave me pitocin, the one thing I tried to avoid. I felt like a failure.

They had completely phased out the epidural as I requested and I began to feel the contractions again, the pain was terrible but it was manageable now that I had energy and excitement to keep me going. At 12:15 I started pushing, pushing was immediate relief to the contractions. At 2 pm my daughter had turned, we didn't even know she was posterior (facing upwards, not downwards, which makes delivery extremely difficult and opening of the cervix sometime impossible), and she was delivered within 5 minutes of that. 

The moment I saw her I looked at Lovey, he looked the happiest I had ever seen him. I could feel Eliana cry and suck in deep breaths of air for the first time. She wriggled in my arms and squirmed at my breast, I fed her and felt a rush of emotion come from me. This was the moment I had waited for. I was in labor for 34 hours and it was forgotten in 3 seconds after holding her the first time. She was born late and weighed in at 9.5 lbs, she had a full head of black curly hair and had her fathers toes.

5 months later and I am so in love. She's everything I ever wanted, funny, adorable, healthy, smart. I can't imagine my life without her. She's growing so fast, she's learning so much. 

Every pain I felt with her was worth it, yet forgotten in the love I feel now.

“And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” 13:14

Controversial Parenting

I don't want to offend. I believe that your choices as a parent are specific to your family, though I also believe in educated parenting. Since a lot of material will be on my beliefs as a parent, I thought this would be an amazing way to give insight!

pro-life vs pro-choice:

I'm not 100% anything, but I am pro choice. I lean towards that side anyway. I believe that every child is a life, inside or outside of the womb. I believe it's wrong to destroy a blessing because you feel you are not ready, or because you made a mistake. However, I truly believe that children and rape victims should be allowed to abort unwanted pregnancies because of the physical and mental trauma it might cause. It's still a life though, and those people in those terrible circumstances who do keep their children are wonderful people who value the human life despite it's origins.

baby wearing: I wear Eliana on a pretty much daily basis. We have a soft carrier we put in the bottom of the stroller and when she is moody or wants to sleep (or eat sometimes) we put her inside of it. She's nearly 20 lbs (nearly 9 Kg) now so it's getting tougher. We went through stages where we didn't have a stroller, do occasionally using the stroller if we were out all day, for a break. Now we use the carrier if I need to be hands free or if she needs some loving while we're out and about.

Circumcision:

I believe that the boy's penis is not the family penis. It's his. However, this really isn't my choice, my husband is a man, I don't have a penis so how could I ever make such a decision for my son? I leave this to my husband, and as muslims we do believe in the benefits of circumcision and we practice it.

Adoption: My husband and I would love to adopt one day. I love the idea of giving a child a loving home, I love being a mother and providing everything that child needs. It's an honour. I also think those who give their children up for adoption because they cannot provide are so strong. I don't think I could be that strong, maybe I'm selfish, or too attached. I just think it's such a wonderful opportunity to give your little creation the best chances at life and it;s so selfless.

baby piercing: I don't plan on getting my daughter earrings until she's much, much older. It'll be her choice and until she's old enough to want them she won't be getting them done.

breastfeeding vs formula feeding: I believe that if you can't breastfeed that's okay, but you should at least try. No one can deny it is the healthiest thing for your baby. It's packed full of immunities and vitamins, fats, and is essential for growing babies. It's a bonding mechanism that God made between mother and baby. Anyone who sexualizes breastfeeding in my opinion is being really creepy, there is nothing sexual about such a natural thing. Mothers afraid of getting saggy breasts from it are pretty wrong, misinformed, and selfish. I have breastfeed my daughter since she was born and I will continue until she doesn't want it anymore.

Spanking: I was spanked. I think most children born in the 90's and thousands of years before that were spanked. I don't think it ruined my life, it wasn't an abuse thing as much as it was punishment. Would I do it to my children? Probably not. I know so many other ways to keep my children from doing dangerous/stupid/disrespectful things, I don't need them to fear me in order to get them to not do them.

Co-sleeping: I'm huge on this. I believe there is this terrible misconception about co-sleeping with your babies. My husband and I were raised in households with 'family beds'. If fact my husband says he slept with them until he was around 4 or 5. I know I was around 2 1/2 or 3 when I slept in my own bed. Other than being terribly convenient and deliciously sweet sleeping with a softly breathing warm baby, it's crucial in my opinion. No one likes to be cold and alone in their bed, especially not someone new to this scary world. My daughter has slept though the night since she was a week old because she is comfortable. I know there are dangers, but if you look at the studies and the warnings- if you smoke, drink, or you have a sleeping condition, you probably shouldn't sleep with your children. Most people DO in fact smoke, drink, and have sleeping conditions, therefore as muslims who have none of these attributes- I'd say sleeping with my children is pretty darn safe. I'm a light sleeper anyway. I will go into this another time.

home vs public vs private vs charter schooling: I would love it if my children could be in a private school or charter school, however, we don't have the money to do that for all of the children we want. Also, we're not very stable, we plan to live between 2 countries and that can make things a bit difficult. I am in love with the idea of homeschooling but my husband is so worried that our kids wont meet people, I guess only time will tell.

Vaccines: I am largely against uneducated vaccinations. I think as parents it's our responsibility to look into what we administer to our children, and you'd be appalled about what is in some injections these days. I also don't feel my infants need a hepatitis shot since they are just about no-risk if not the lowest low risk. We pick and choose what we vaccinate against, when, and how. So far my 5 month old is vaccine free, but then again, she isn't in daycare, she is not babysat, she isn't formula fed, she doesn't crawl, she doesn't have children to play with to share germs, when we are in public places she is usually attached to me. We'll start around 6 months- 1 year. Update: Eliana is 7 months now and she`s received the first of her shots because we plan to travel soon. She did not get all of the vaccines to date, just what we decide was important for travel.

medicating babies: I avoid medicating my baby as much as possible, but I'm not stubborn enough not to give my child antibiotics for infections since it's rare you can heal them naturally. I give my daughter ibuprofen for teething (she has teeth already), but I only give it to her before bed so she can sleep. During the day we naturally remedy teething pain. We don't use cold medicine when she is sick with a cold or flu, we would only use it to keep down a fever which she's never had alhamdulilah.

cloth vs disposables: I cloth diaper. I use cloth diapers by 'Lovely Cloth Diapers', I think their price is amazing. It ranges from $7- $12 a diaper, which is half price of larger brand named cloth diapers.Our stash of roughly 23 (3 days worth) diapers was about 250$ with accessories and we've not spent money on diapers since. I'd hate to run out and spend a ton of money on diapers so this saves me time and a money. I'm very health conscious of my baby, I'm not a fan of the chems and bleach used in disposables, though we used them when we travelled once because it was slightly more convenient.

CIO method (cry it out): We've always been attentive to our daughter. I WIO (whine it out), I let her whine and get aggravated with her toys/ herself because it helps her learn how to entertain herself, it also develops self-soothing skills without being too harsh with her and completely ignoring her. She whines until she figures it out or cries, and then I'm there to praise or fix the situation. I believe babies cry for a reason, since it's their only way to communicate it's necessary to listen to them. It would be maddening to yell for help and know that you're being ignored. How can I expect my daughter to rely on me and trust me if I'm constantly letting her scream for love/attention/food. I'm her mother, no one else on earth, save daddy, should be her comfort. 

'Lovey' aka Husband

I'm married to a Saudi wonderful man.

It all started in 2007, I was very...very young. Without going into detail I may or may not have still been in high school, to give you some insight. It just so happened that one night I met my husband.

I didn't sleep that night.

Three days later he professed his love. What a disaster. I would have run, had I not been so fascinated and carefree. Three months later I realized, it may have been genuine, if possible. I confessed I loved him too. Five months later he traveled 6533 miles to meet me. Three seconds after we met we fell in love. We eventually got married. We got pregnant. I had the baby, luckily, not him. It's been 5 months since then, and we're pretty happy with us.

That's where it stands, five years with a lot of love, sacrifice, and struggle. Lot's of struggle on my husbands part.

So, for the record- I'm very happy. Yes, I'm the wife of a Saudi man. I'm not unhappy, not culture shocked (anymore), I'm not oppressed, not abused, I'm not not okay. I made some mistakes, I was naive, but alhamdulilah I am incredibly blessed. (I don't like to say lucky, I don't believe in luck as much as I believe in fate.)  I am SO loved by this man that I'm pretty willing to say that I listen to no one when it comes to relationship advice. I didn't when everyone warned me not to mess with someone I didn't know, an arab, someone with such different values and such a different mindset. I didn't when he was working his arse off a whole year and everyone said he would never come back to me. I knew the truth.

I knew he loved me.

And that's just it people! That's what it's about. Yes, I'm married to a Saudi. I'm also married to a talented, smart, open minded, exciting, unconditionally loving, sweet, sweet man. Mashallah, he is more than what I could've expected.

I do get mad at him, however. I get mad when he floods the bathroom making wudu. I get mad when he drenches good food in hot sauce so you can taste nothing else. I get mad when he lectures me when I'm trying to sleep. I get mad when he ignores me for his iphone, soccer, and his beard (man literally spends hours on the beard).

My husband is a huge part of me, but he doesn't define me.

He changed me, but he doesn't make the changes. I guess what makes being his wife possible is that I had to know I was who I was. I didn't become muslim for him, I didn't change my name because I'm muslim, I am proud to be myself.

If I could give counsel to any girl wanting or in a relationship with someone from another world I would say: Be you. Don't lose it. If you do you will regret it and eventually resent every difference between you and that person, those differences in you that remain will always remain. You can't change them. You can't change to fit what you think would make the relationship more suitable. The objective was never to marry him and become a Saudi woman- thats why we work so well. He married a Canadian.

So my love for bohemian fashion, my need for 90's music (astaghfurallah), my 'western food crave', my natural obsession, my love of sour cream and all things texmex, my collection of Venetian masks he thinks are so creepy, and everything that makes me 'western'- let it bother him. Let him appreciate it all the same.

If someone loves you, they value your differences. They enjoy them.

Anyway, thats my relationship.
I love my husband.

Well, Hello!

Besmillah

This all started because my husband advised me to get a hobby.

I've been a mother for 5 beautiful months, a wife for over 2 years- and I haven't actually done much in terms of 'fun' or 'something for me' in a little while. I've been a little snippy, a little aggravated. Bored. So, it's probably best that I take my husbands advice and get off of his back.

I guess I was just inspired, I've been reading blogs- the anonymous nonparticipating reader- for a long time now. I practically rely on them to pass the time between soccer games (where husband goes silent and all is forgotten) and maghrib until isha.

This is where people can learn about me, read about what I've done and what I'll do. It'll document our travel to Saudi inshallah. It will be something for my friends, family, and my husband to look at. Mostly it's just something to pass the time, to spare me boredom. A hobby. 

So, to all of you that don't sleep in my bed, see me every morning, hear me on the phone: here is an introduction!

I'm Canadian through and through.
My name is Bridgette and I love my name.
I love food to an excess.
I enjoy (truly!)  being a mother and wife.
I love adventure.
I'm a muslimah.
I'm pretty young.
I have crazy parents.
I'm extremely blessed and I have known great loss.
I'm only getting started.