tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90805714847859143292024-02-07T09:21:02.745-08:00The Chronicles of Um Eliana... This follows Bridgette: a young Canadian mother married to a wonderful Saudi man starting life together as a family.Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-9240063813757166722018-06-21T19:13:00.002-07:002018-06-21T19:13:44.638-07:00I'm Back<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
New baby, New blog.<br />
Still in Saudi Arabia and loving it!<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #4b4f56; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So much has happened since I last wrote on this blog. It's been 4 years, I'm almost due with my 3rd Daughter, alhamduliah! I saw the comments on here, I hadn't signed in for years. The comments were so touching, made me feel so good. Thank you so much! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #4b4f56; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hope to find some of you on my new blog, we also have a facebook group for Mothers in Saudi Arabia:</span><br />
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https://www.facebook.com/groups/thesandydiaper/about/<br />
The Sandy Diaper- Mothering in Saudi Arabia.<br />
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It's a closed group for women only,<br />
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Join if you'd like to keep in contact and see what I've been up to in the last 4 years! Come and say Hi, tell me about yourselves. I'd love to see you all there.<br />
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I haven't decided if I want to continue this blog, allahu ahlam!<br />
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Thanks again for the support, the comments, and the emails and people who have reached out over the years. You are so precious to me.<br />
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Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-22254550948672048492014-08-05T03:42:00.002-07:002014-08-05T03:42:43.463-07:00Ramadan 2014<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A late Ramadan and Eid Mubarak to everyone! <div>
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It's been extremely busy here with my family, Ramadan is always busy, but throw in another grand baby and life is flat out hectic! First, we made the travel from Riyadh to Al Baha to stay at our 'family home' with our inlaws (basically a large house with 6 apartments for each married child). I had to do a mad cleaning because it was musty and weird walking into the apartment for the first time in 6 months, I wont lie, I was on the lookout for lizards and scorpions, but I also wanted the place to be really tidy because I brought my 1 month old. Upon cleaning I found black mold (Al Baha is a cooler, damper area) which was lovely so we had to deal with that. Once the house was in good shape Ramadan started.</div>
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This year I fasted, I'm typically of the notion that I <i>can</i> hold off fasting while I'm breastfeeding a newborn, but as I'm tandem feeding and not worrying about supply issues, I decided to fast. The first week was really hard, it usually is, but more so because I was feeding two around the clock. My husband then came up with the brilliant idea to change our sleep pattern so that we woke up after Asr. Not a bad idea, until I started to get really depressed two weeks later. Surprise! No sunlight IS bad for you. So I was lazy, unproductive, and depressed for the most of this Ramadan. </div>
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Having a newborn didn't help, having everyone want to take my newborn away and give me a break made me crazy. I'm grateful that they wanted to help, it takes a village, but come on THIS one just left my body. I'm not ready for a break! I did let them take my toddler, and she emerged from her serious sibling jealousy and reveled in all the attention she got. I'm so thankful for that, because it had been 4-6 weeks of screaming and nearly biting the new baby that I was dealing with ALONE in Riyadh. Glad it's over. Glad my children love each other, now. </div>
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Now Ramadan is over and I'm reflecting. Not only did I achieve NOTHING (not unexpected, I achieved nothing after the birth of my first before Ramadan 2012) but I barely scraped by as a person. I wasn't myself, I certainly wasn't at the height of my Iman. I was pissy. I was stubborn and unwilling to participate in nearly everything due to child exhaustion and fasting. I, yet again, did not finish the Quran. On Eid I woke up feverish and with the first ear infection I'd had since 6th grade- but I wasn't bummed. I didn't feel like I was in a celebratory mood! I didn't have a Ramadan! I DID fast, but what is fasting when your heart just isn't in it? Half of me thinks I just don't want to end up with 90 days of incomplete fasts or something. I'm being very candid here because I know I'm not alone in this, and I need to be truthful to myself if I'm going to fix it. </div>
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My best Ramadans were after I married my husband, he was living in Saudi Arabia and I was living in my own apartment. I was working, I was out of school, and it was summer. It was beautiful, the days were very long (17ish hours for me), but I felt a sense of fulfillment by the time I broke fast (which is why I will never sleep through a day of Ramadan AGAIN). I was reading Quran and perfecting how to pray every day, by night I was sharing Ramadan treats with my Iraqi neighbors upstairs and finishing my nights with long bubble baths and even longer prayers.</div>
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So, looking back, I knew how to do it once! What ruined Ramadan?</div>
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The hectic schedule of new motherhood.</div>
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Breastfeeding calories, or lack of, making me starve to death.</div>
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Still being relatively new to Saudi Arabia, not feeling at home.</div>
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Learning to 'navigate' worship and fasting around my husband and kids.</div>
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Saudi cultural foods overfilling me and making me lethargic.</div>
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SLEEPING by day (worst idea EVER).</div>
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Being sleep deprived because of sleep change and new baby, not waking for prayers.</div>
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I'm guilty of all of it this year, which is why even if I pop out a new baby next year or I'm breastfeeding 10 I'm still going to try to tweak Ramadan to make it better.</div>
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My GOALS or things to remember for next year which I didn't do this year are:</div>
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<li>Don't mess with the sleep pattern. I'm not cheating my fasts, it's not any shorter. It's not better for me. I basically hurt myself by not going outside and seeing daylight for a full month with is just STUPID. </li>
<li>With that changed, making my own food and bringing it to the giant family iftar will ensure I eat what I want, or what I should be eating so I can avoid getting sick or gaining too much weight. (I overate almost every night).</li>
<li>I'm going to try to include my kids in my worship as much as possible, the idea of having alone time between me and Allah was spoiled by the very blessing of the kids he gave me so I might as well embrace it and learn to deal with it. God knows it's going to be like this for the next 10 or 15 years anyway. </li>
<li>Focus on prayer. Praying on time will keep me on track.</li>
<li>I WILL decorate and get myself in the mood for Ramadan, which I fooled myself into thinking I had time for this year. </li>
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Inshallah next year will be better. I know it will be, the kids will be that much older, I will have grown more comfortable with where I am and as long as I'm not making stupid mistakes I'm sure I'll make the most of it.</div>
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Now to prepare for my sister in law's wedding tomorrow!</div>
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Masalama! </div>
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Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-83484414662182379112014-05-29T16:47:00.000-07:002014-05-29T16:47:23.671-07:00My labour and delivery of Eliene<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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At 34 weeks I went into my appointment with a headache that had been bothering me for 2 days prior. I was weighed and my blood pressure was taken, the nurse paused and told me she would be back. </div>
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When the nurse returned it was brought to my attention that my usually lower blood pressure was so through the roof that I was going to explode... </div>
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That explained the headache and chest pains!</div>
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The doctor regretfully told me I would be induced at 39 weeks and that I was showing signs of pre eclampsia. I was put on meds and sent home full of FEAR that I just bought myself a ticket to a c section in a foreign country by a doctor I had only seen twice.</div>
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As time went on the blood pressure didn't let up, neither did my symptoms or my mood. At my 38 week appointment I went in fully expecting to be induced on the spot because of chest pain. I was right. </div>
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I was whisked away from my family, admitted, and the induction process started all within 30 minutes. I couldn't believe it. </div>
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They gave me a cervical ripener which would take 12 hours to work, though contraction got painful within 5 minutes. I was over responding, which means I was either already in labour when I came ( hence elevated bp) or my body just did not like what I was doing. For 8 more hours I tried to get comfortable while having pretty severe contractions, I danced in my lonely hospital room while my husband took care of Eliana. I figured dancing would lighten my mood and take me out of the scared place I was going into. It was all fun until a nice Filipino nurse walked in... she laughed, I was embarrassed. It was then that I was told that the contractions weren't showing on the machine. This discouraged me and I couldn't handle another nurse seeing my moves so I laid down. (Barely laid down, anyone whose been in labour knows you can't lay down)</div>
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When they checked me they were shocked to find I was a 5 rather than a 2 and that I HAD been experiencing contractions. It was great news, except my husband was still with Eliana and all of my thoughts were on where Eliana was going to end up and with whom. I guess I started to panic, I had chest pain and dizziness again. </div>
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They left the room and food arrived, I sat up and my water broke. Everything, the panic I felt, the pain, absolutely everything overwhelmed me and I didn't know why. At this point I was quickly whisked away to the delivery room. By the time we got there I was a six!</div>
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So I called my husband for support, he came and we tried all of the coping techniques we knew. I can remember telling him I was going to continue to go naturally, then decided not to, and went back and forth a hundred times walking down a tiny hallway. I was in pain, things were happening fast and I felt like my head was going to explode. My husband was making jokes, I thought I was going to murder him, but luckily I felt the contractions slightly worsen and that saved his life.</div>
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Our midwife came, she encouraged me to finish naturally but 15 minutes later I felt as if I was going to faint. I was able to overcome it, but then it happened again. I felt as if I was suffocating, I was shaking and my heart was pounding. Something felt very <i>wrong.</i> We decided to get the epidural even thought we wanted a natural birth. The midwife expressed that she thought I was having an anxiety attack and I chose a good option if it meant that I could relax. ( Turns out I was, and I have had 5 more since. That's another story for another day.)</div>
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15 minutes later a wave of calm came over me. I could breathe. I could talk! I laughed with my husband and expressed my fears to my midwife. </div>
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In just about no time it was time to push, my epidural was minimal and I was able to feel everything ( which I prefer). Pushing was strange, at first it was like I forgot how to push, but after trying twice I remembered. I kept apologizing for not remembering, which is funny because I was saying things outloud that I was thinking. Very weird. 24 minutes and I delivered beautiful Eliene!</div>
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It was so short compared to my first daughter that I'm still in disbelief.</div>
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Alhamdulilah for another relatively 'simple' birth,</div>
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Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-45286441762675479262014-05-29T16:05:00.001-07:002014-05-29T16:05:17.604-07:00The Second Child<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I'm a first child. I'm the only girl since my mother in a family of many, many men. I've been favorite. I'm spoiled, well loved, and though there is only 11 months between my brother and I, I am still reaping the benefits of being the firstborn. </div>
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I was never really interested in the dynamics of birth order, I don't think a person's personality perks or flaws can be determined by who came when. My brothers were both smart, academically I was a stronger student but we come from smart parents so it's no surprise my brothers are also intelligent and open minded. I'm stubborn and determined, I suppose that could be because I am firstborn and therefore the Columbus in our household. I married first, moved away first, had the first grandchildren. I saw this in my daughter, Eliana, too. </div>
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She was not first grandchild, but she was first female grandchild in two families who really adore female children for some not- so obvious reason. Spoiled, also. She adventured with her dad and I, had her time alone as the only child, and built personality quickly and gracefully. </div>
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I wasn't concerned about birth order at all, until I had Eliene, that is. I popped her out and the realization that I had birthed yet another female dawned on me and I was filled with excitement but also fear of the unknown.</div>
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I don't have a sister, I have no other females in my life. The second born in my family was a male, my brother, whose name is that inherited family name and he was celebrated, too! But what happens to Eliene? She's a <i>girl.</i> She has an older sister! Are people going to adore her, spoil her, and fall in love with her like they did Eliana? </div>
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I swear, the night that followed her birth I even dreamt about it. I saw my daughters side by side, well adjusted and healthy, beautiful and... and similar. <i>Too similar</i>. I could not fathom a different personality for a girl than the one that I already <i>knew.</i> I woke up, rolled over and touched Eliene and cried. I not only know nothing about sisters, but I know nothing about parenting two girls. I felt doomed, or that I had doomed the precious little bundle beside me. </div>
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Now, we can get into all of the 'fears' of being a mother to females in this day in age- there are thousands of worries that I will get to when the time comes, but my main fear RIGHT now is that I will somehow cause jealousy between my kids, though I show no favoritism. I already see how lucky my firstborn was, having her one on one time, no other screaming nurslings pulling at her mother during precious bonding time, no screaming in the background for someone to 'sit down!" or 'don't kick your sister!'. </div>
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And oh my GOD is Eliene a different baby! She's calm, quiet, and easily consoled with love and milk. She sleeps well, she doesn't fuss when I dress her, and prefers me over her father. All of these things were the opposite with Eliana to the extreme. I feel so lucky that I have it 'easier' with her, but at the same time I am extremely relieved that she is SO different from her sister because there is some glimmer of hope that their dissimilarity will somehow make it easier for me to love them both equally without causing some rivalry or mental trauma. </div>
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Of course I talked to my husband about this. He shrugged. His sisters are 10 years apart in age and down each other's throats, but that's probably because no one likes someone copying their every move every minute of every day. I can understand that. </div>
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Oh, and now Eliana has decided she is not okay with the baby. 3 weeks in and she has realized that this visitor <i>wasn't</i> visiting. She screams and smacks and yells 'NO BABY!'. I can't even begin to understand how to defuse that anger and hurt she feels when she sees me nursing her sister and unable to play with her, or nurse her. She was never a jealous or angry child before this so I am stunned. She wants to be alone with me and even if I tried to give her alone time it will never be enough because things will never be as they were! How can I win? How could that have even been prevented? I introduced the two of them in the most thoughtful way, I was so sure I had done everything <b>right.</b></div>
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I also underestimated how hard it is to have two kids under 2. One cries, the other cries. What do you do? How do you choose? One is tired, and the other is screaming, how can I put both to sleep? It's not the diaper changing and bathing, that can all be done at the same time- it's the fussing and crying that seems to happen at the same time <i>every time. </i>I'm trying to work out all the kinks and show them all of my love and I am just so overwhelmed that I'm just emotionally dumb and angry 24 hours a day.</div>
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I obviously have no regrets, and I love them both so much. Why else would I be worried? I just don't know where I stand and I don't see that comfortable place that everyone keeps telling me about- that magical moment when you can handle two kids without feeling like running into a room and crying afterwards.</div>
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Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-69625986078741334642014-05-17T00:15:00.001-07:002014-05-29T16:23:11.508-07:00Guess what?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hello!<br />
So it's been a long time since I've written, and though I haven't been productive in blogger world I have been in real life.</div>
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To summarize:</div>
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Finally ate at le château. I couldn't open doors, too much tech for me. Very fast escalator gave me a scare. Food was great though...</div>
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Made and delivered a beautiful child a week ago. Welcome Eliene!</div>
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Ended up in hospital, I'm here now with Eliene who just went from oompaloompa orange with jaundice to healthy pink. No idea why her levels were elevated but we may leave tonight. Dallah hospital IS nice but I miss my bed and the novelty of going up and down in this one wore off days ago. </div>
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Those are the highlights, I've also been managing floods of Zahrani family members who have come to greet Eliene. I miss my house. I have been an on demand cow for Eliene ( eel ean as my husband says it) since we've been admitted, nothing else to do but feed and watch that Funoon chanel that I laugh at but only understand 25% of. I miss my daughter Eliana. Did you notice yet that my kid's names are extremely similar? Government denied my name choice so we used my husband's so for now they are Elly and Nel... but not Nelly, that's too much.</div>
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That's about it for now. I'll have a lot more to update as Ramadan rolls in, then Eid, then Zahrani wedding season, and then back to Canada for the sole reason to lunch with my mom and let my husband run wild in the Canadian wilderness before he explodes. <br /></div>
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Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-69227162421092629102014-03-05T08:52:00.001-08:002014-03-05T08:52:50.663-08:00Things to do before baby #2 update...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Ugh hate doing two posts in a day but my other didn't publish for a week. Don't know how I didn't notice...<br />
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Anyway, before I get into it I want to say something really important that I've learned:<b> Just because it didn't get done, doesn't mean that you didn't accomplish anything!</b> A lot of people attribute their failing to meet goals with laziness, but sometimes it's just the goal itself. Maybe the goal was too in depth, too hard, or much larger than you thought. I'm not always easy on myself, especially when it comes to parenting, but this time I think I've learned more than I've accomplished and that's an accomplishment in of itself.<br />
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I set some goals for myself, and since time is fleeting and I'm due soon I'm starting to notice that I'm not going to get close to any of my goals unless I push my daughter and I in impractical ways. I'm not cool with that for a lot of reasons, mainly, I don't believe that I can rush her 'growing up' process by using tough love and other people's parenting tactics. Call me what you will, an attachment parent, a pushover, but my daughter's wants and needs will never be ignored by me no matter HOW much I want them to let up. It's just not about me, or the new baby, or anyone else's expectations. It's about her, it's about making sure she is comfortable and loved and healthy.<br />
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The goals I set for myself were:<br />
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><b><i>Night wean Elly.</i></b> </li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><i style="font-weight: bold;">Sleep Train Elly.</i></li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><b><i>Have a hygiene schedule</i></b>. </li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><b><i>Independent toys.</i> </b></li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><b><i>Baby proof</i>.</b> </li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><i><b>Dedicated one-on-one time.</b> </i></li>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Molengo;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.790000915527344px;">You might read this and think 'well those are all very basic parenting things'. They are! They are important, and I've done what I had to do but the end result w<i>asn't</i> what I expected nearly 80% of the time. Usually the end result was better, or similar but tweaked slightly. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Molengo;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.790000915527344px;">I didn't night wean my daughter, in fact, it would've been impossible to do that because she doesn't sleep in her own bed. And guess what! I'm not PUTTING her in her own bed, not when the new baby comes, and not right now. We got a king sized bed when we moved to Riyadh and it became apparent very quick that our bedsharing rules made co-sleeping very safe and while I worried and cared for a newborn I don't want to be worrying about my toddler waking up in the middle of the night, every night. It's not worth the sacrifice of sleep when we're all perfectly happy together in bed. A lot of people co sleep and say their husbands are ok with it, but sleep in another bed. My husband is not that kind of man, he's a cuddler, his kid's are cuddlers, and he loves sleeping beside the sweet heavy breaths of our little creation as much as I do. So, night weaning- is it going to happen? Nope. I ALSO learned about tandem nursing, and since my milk increased my daughter's feeding have increased and I noticed a huge change in her happiness- she's not lethargic, sad for no reason, or as needy when I breastfeed her. Now that I am feeding her regularly again, she's happy, I'm happy, and it is possible to nurse both of the kids- so I'll do it! It makes me life easier too, and a lot of moms don't feel that way, but I enjoy breastfeeding and I'm not at the point where I want to stop either.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Molengo;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.790000915527344px;">Did I sleep train Elly? Nope. We tried and it was hell. She didn't know what was going on and was devastated. When we tried to adjust her napping, she did well, but she was also phasing out her 2nd nap. Now she sleeps when we do, wakes 11 hours later, and naps 4 hours after she wakes up for however long she needs. She put herself on a schedule, in a sense. We tried to put her in her own bed, and we tried putting her down to bed before us. The problem with that was she likes to cuddle and she would roll over to hold onto someone and find no one there, she's wake up in a panic, in the dark, and then proceed to climb out of bed and bang on the door like an inmate. She, in my opinion, is too little for a drastic change- or actually, not too little, but at this stage in her development she's sensing feelings and she was sensing something negative from what we were doing and it was CHANGING her! She was never the type to cry when her dad went to work, and suddenly as soon as the door shut she would scream bloody murder. If I was in the bathroom and shut the door, she would get sad and call me until I was finished. She was going through separation anxiety like most kids her age do, and it wasn't a good time to change things up. Bedtime for her was safe time, and I couldn't force her.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Molengo;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.790000915527344px;">All of the other goals to do with her were met, and exceeded what I expected and I'm just so glad. </span></span></div>
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So, as you can see, not exactly everything in it's place but there were realizations and changes and I lost that NEED to meet a deadline. I feel better, she's doing very well with our setup, and my husband is still happy so I guess that's all that matters. Kids grow up fast enough without our prompting, so I figure I'd cuddle, coddle, and dote on her until she runs away from my slobbery kisses and stops laughing at my jokes.</div>
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Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-89740926750655319502014-03-05T08:27:00.002-08:002014-03-05T08:27:29.966-08:00The Biggest Update Ever ( by the laziest blogger ever)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hi! Long time no talk.<br />
It's been so long that I should read what my last post was about, but I don't have time, so I'm just going to get into it and pretend like I know where I left off.<br />
<br />
SO! I finally moved to Riyadh, I'm actually loving it here. It's pleasantly well equipped with all of the shopping/food I could want and for a girl like me that's all I could ask for. Don't know what it is about burgers in this city, but it's a good thing that I don't mind eating burgers.<br />
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Our apartment is shaping up, with some huge pitfalls along the way. One of them is that both of our bathrooms had working toilets when we got here, and they both managed to EXPLODE at the same time, too. Got that fixed, and the handyman cracked all my tiles whilst changing a freakin' hose. How? I don't know, he carries a hammer and smashes up Saudi's bathrooms for revenge or something. Oh! and we got our place painted, and I was relocated to the mall for HOURS because I'm pregnant and can't breathe in fumes/I'm a mother and I wont let my toddler breathe in fumes. After an exhausting mall day with tons of toddler tantrums I got home and there was paint ALL over my tile floors in EVERY one of our 6 rooms that now requires a razor and some elbow grease. Well guess what. It won't be my elbows or their grease cleaning that up. Nope. I'm in my third trimester and I am now qualified to lay down and eat bon bons all day, Dr's orders!<br />
<br />
Other than that we're pretty blessed to have found the furniture basics we need for unbelievable prices, I thank ikea, and random souks with sweet spots for a Canadian accent. Actually, all credit is due to my husband the haggling king, even though he usually wastes his time, sometimes he can talk things down even a 1000 SAR. I don't know how he does it, he can be pretty scary though. We officially have a Tv unit, couch, kitchen table (no more eating on the floor YAY!), water cooler, full kitchen, bedroom set, and a washer/dryer unit. That's more than we've ever had as a couple I think, so alhamdulilah.<br />
<br />
In all of my 23 years on this earth I have NEVER been so tired/in pain. I've even endured face breaking surgery and a natural delivery of a giant baby- but omg I'm such a baby when it comes to back pain! I had <i>a little</i> with Elly but this time around I'm really feeling it. It's been 3 weeks almost and apparently there is nothing that can be done except have the baby! So, most days I take it easy but after walking/cleaning I'm done for the day and it's really put a halt on what we can/can't do. I used to feel like a superwoman, but I now know how taxing pregnancy can be and totally regret if I ever thought anyone was lying about how crappy it can be sometimes. Thank God, I'm healthy, it's really just this ongoing pain thing that's got me down.<br />
<br />
Without any surprise this baby is as big as Elly was, measuring a week or more ahead just like her big sister. Yep, and it's another girl! I'm not 100% convinced since they had also told us we were having a boy early on, but whatever this little one is I don't mind. I'm just happy she's healthy and I take comfort in every kick.<br />
<br />
My due date changed as well, it's May 25th as opposed to June 1st, but knowing how long my last pregnancy went I still think we will have another June baby on our hands. We've started seeing a Dr at Dallah Hospital, I like this hospital a lot more than any I've been to in Saudi Arabia and I'm actually getting excited to go through the birthing process again. My main concern was the Dr, and both of our candidates are pretty good. One is a regular OBGYN who is incredibly honest but full of information. We'll meet with the other next week, inshallah, a British midwife, I believe. She handles natural births and so I hope we can click with her.<br />
<br />
Elly is 21 months now and thriving. Mashallah, she's talking and singing all day. Her vocabulary seems to boom over night, and she knows almost every word in BOTH languages which just shows how teaching your kids the OPOL (one parent, one language) method really seems to work. Our OBGYN thought she was 3 years old, and was surprised when I told her she wasn't even 2 yet. She's a strong, bright little girl whose toothy smile lightens my mood every day. She still nurses, and we've decided to let her wean herself because she's not showing any signs of letting up. She also reminds me more and more of my mom and brother Richard, which is more than any of us could ask for after his loss. She's daring and cheeky like him, she's full of a similar energy and my parents have pointed out a lot of her mannerisms are a lot like his. Even her hair. I really take comfort in the similarities, and though it makes me cry and miss him most of the time, I know I carry a little of him with me at all times.<br />
<br />
Somehow I think this next baby will be a lot like me, and by a lot like me, that means a lot like my brother Robert, too. That's the beauty of family, they'll never really be gone. Little pieces pop up all over the place, and it doesn't matter if you like it or not, but that's the nature of it all.<br />
<br />
I'm excited that my mom will be here at the end of May, inshallah. I can't wait to have her back, making me food and taking care of me. I wish my dad could come, but we'll be going back to Canada for 6 weeks in Sept/Oct with the new baby.<br />
<br />
Even though life here is hard at times, I've got a lot to look forward to and there is no doubt how blessed I am. I know time will fly and the baby will be here, and before I know it we'll all be travelling home. I'm taking comfort where I can get it.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-76803204528674520782013-10-15T11:06:00.003-07:002013-10-15T11:08:25.991-07:00The Toddler Hygiene Schedule! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This is our new schedule, I plan to implement it starting this week.</div>
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I'm going with experience and pediatricians instructions. Contrary to belief, you don't need to bathe you baby every day (unless they got messy), and since we use water to wash her butt after we change her diaper she is always very clean. I think this schedule is fair, it's not unrealistic and doesn't push it. It's so simple and pretty much a 'no duh' type of thing, but it's about the timing and it's always a good reminder. I ALWAYS bathe her in the morning, and if not, that night (which has been terrible for her curly hair). I don't wash her hair more than every other day because 1) Shampoo is bad for hair, 2) Her organic shampoo does a good job keep her hair clean without greasy residue, 3) Unless she's dumped food in her hair it's not good to get into a lifelong daily hair washing routine when you can easily train hair to wash every other day. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
About the nails- I always cut nails before a bath because under-nail bacteria is really gross and the bath will wash it away before she gets to put her fingers in her mouth. It's a good practice NOT to cut wet nails, so always cut before a bath, not after. The Thursday she doesn't bathe, I do it while she naps so she doesn't even notice, and usually I don't need to trim/check her toe nails, they grow slower so I think I'll only attempt them on Thursday naps. It's a great habit to brush your baby after every meal, but it's not very realistic right now- I'm VERY happy with having it done WELL every night after dinner (however we do have a practice of washing out her mouth with after after a meal, thanks to daddy).</div>
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Hope this also helps other moms who need a bit of a reminder, let's not lie... it get's hectic sometimes! It's easy to forget nails before it's too late, and they scratch themselves. ;)</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Day -><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Item<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">MONDAY<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">TUESDAY<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">WEDNESDAY<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">THURSDAY<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">FRIDAY<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">SATURDAY<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">SUNDAY<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Brush HAIR<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Every<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">morning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">-><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">-><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">-><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">-><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">-><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">-><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Brush TEETH<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Every <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">night<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: x-small;"> -></span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: x-small;"> -></span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: x-small;"> -></span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: x-small;"> -></span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: x-small;"> -></span></o:p></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: x-small;"> -></span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Wash HAIR<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Morning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Morning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 21.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 55.55pt;" valign="top" width="74"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
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<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 21.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 45.8pt;" valign="top" width="61"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Morning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Maybe</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Bathe<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Morning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 20.5pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 48.6pt;" valign="top" width="65"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 20.5pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 64.05pt;" valign="top" width="85"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Morning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 20.5pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 55.55pt;" valign="top" width="74"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 20.5pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 45.8pt;" valign="top" width="61"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Morning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 20.5pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 55.1pt;" valign="top" width="73"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 20.5pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 45.8pt;" valign="top" width="61"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Morning<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
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<tr style="height: 21.7pt; mso-yfti-irow: 5; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;">
<td style="border-top: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 21.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 36.5pt;" valign="top" width="49"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Cut NAILS<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 21.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 49.5pt;" valign="top" width="66"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Before Bath<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 21.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 48.6pt;" valign="top" width="65"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</td>
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<br /></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 21.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 55.55pt;" valign="top" width="74"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">During Nap<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
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<br /></div>
</td>
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<br /></div>
</td>
<td style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-left: none; border-right: solid windowtext 1.0pt; border-top: none; height: 21.7pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-top-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; width: 45.8pt;" valign="top" width="61"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Before Bath<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-27265896522110936722013-10-15T10:39:00.002-07:002013-10-15T10:39:57.481-07:00Things to accomplish before Baby #2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'm someone who needs due dates on my to-do lists. I like anticipating everything being done by a certain time and the pressure to complete things before a certain date motivates me. Usually, when I have a daily to-do list, I give myself an allotted couple of hours (2, usually) and it's like a game as I whiz through my daily chores. It's especially nice when I have 15-20 minutes left over to do extras!<br />
<br />
The thing with a baby due date is that I can't push it back. There isn't much leeway. The types of things on my list need a bit of time to be completed, too. That means time management. For me, I view 'the sooner the better' as extremely true. If I wan't something done in 3 months, and it takes 5, then I better start now because there are certain things I don't want to deal with WITH a newborn!<br />
<br />
So here is my list of to-do's before baby #2 arrives. I'm unsure of how many I'll be able to accomplish, but they're all pretty detrimental and it would be nice to get a move on!<br />
<br />
<br />
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li><b><i>Night wean Elly.</i></b> I want to wean Eliana fully by the time she's two years, lucky for us I'm due around her birthday so hopefully I'll be able to do it. Elly still feeds 8+ times a day and eats full meals. At night she nurses to sleep, and in the middle of the night she'll wake up for comfort food. Every morning, when she wakes up, she nurses twice- one lazily as she's waking up, and the other before breakfast. Nap time, she nurses (2-3 hours later) and then the rest are on demand through the day. Obviously I intend to nurse baby #2, so a full feeding schedule for the both of them poses as a challenge. I want to at least NIGHT WEAN Eliana before I'm <b>20 weeks</b> pregnant. From there, we want to...</li>
<li><i style="font-weight: bold;">Sleep Train Elly. </i>Like our feeding schedule, we sleep on demand. It's always worked for us and since we were both stay at home parents it was just fine. Now I work (not for much longer, though) and my husband will be going to work full time. Things are about to change and a strict schedule is needed NOW more than ever! Obviously, I'll let her sleep as much as she wants on sick days, but right now she sleeps 11 hours at night and an hour or less in the day. Sometimes two naps. It's extremely unpredictable, except for the fact that her natural rhythm get's her napping at least 2-3 hours after she wakes up. I would like to have her napping the same time every day, sleeping the same time everyday, <b>and sleeping without boobs/being in our bed.</b> I intend to nurse and co-sleep with the new baby, and since Elly is such a big toddler I can't see having 4 in the bed anymore. I would like to night wean her and promptly get her in a toddler bed beside our bed. I'm not ready to put her in her own room right now, maybe around 31/2. </li>
<li><b><i>Have a hygiene schedule</i></b>. Right now Elly showers when I shower, I brush her teeth when she lets me (every day, usually, but not <i>well</i>), and changing diapers/clothes happens when it happens. I've noticed, being a clean mom with a clean baby is <i>hard work.</i> Having two must be a different story! I'll admit I'm not prompt or good at nail cutting, she needs a haircut, and I DON'T brush her hair every day! So sue me! But, I want that to change. She's not a baby anymore, she's a little girl, and if this next one has as much hair as she does I've got my hands full. I want to create a checklist/schedule for her in particular so we can create a solid hygiene routine and so mommy can stay on top of it all!</li>
<li><b><i>Independent toys.</i> </b>Elly is independent (for being an attachment-parented child with two stay at home parents). I'm proud of her social skills, she speaks well and catches on to things quickly. I'd like for her to keep occupied when I'm busy and daddy is at work, since a lot if about to change in her little world. I'm on the look out for toys which are SAFE and creative so we can nurture that little brain without having to be 100% present. I'm not unrealistic, I know she'll need me 90% of the day, but right now she is glued to my side- she'll do things, but only in the same room, and only if she can show and tell. I don't rely on TV, and I don't plan to. I'd like to give her freedom. The next apartment will have a VERY safe baby proofed play room, so that's something I want to plan. </li>
<li><b><i>Baby proof</i>.</b> Since we're moving again within the next couple weeks, I plan to baby proof from the get go. Painting and repairs will happen before we move in, the next thing will be getting on our hands and knees and baby proofing like pros. I'll always watch her, but I'm so scared that in my sleep depravity and shared attention that I might miss something and she'll have her first real injury- stats show that after the 2nd child the risk rises tenfold! (Pretty sure I was the one who almost pulled down the TV on my brother!)I think the timing of our move is perfect, and we'll be able to create a completely safe environment for her. Also, we'll be able to buy baby safe furniture and baby gates- my two favourite things!</li>
<li><i><b>Dedicated one-on-one time.</b> </i>I'm a loyal person, I always have been. I feel a bit torn about sharing my love and attention with two, three, four, or five. I never want Elly to feel neglected so I want to start creating one-on-one time with just Elly and Mommy. This seems easy enough, but on top of baby care and chores it's easy to overlook. I NEED to do this so I can stay as connected with her as I am now. It's not something I'm willing to lose. Private picnics, cooking together, reading books, and a special night time cuddle.</li>
</ol>
<div>
These things are all routines, they all require time. I never stuck her to a strict routine because I believe for children her age she didn't need a schedule but for her needs to be met on demand. Now she understand yes and no and stay and go and simple things, so I can hopefully use her understanding in training her. I really hope to have it all done within the next 7 months. Lets hope!</div>
</div>
Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-74391495538349720732013-09-22T04:03:00.003-07:002013-09-22T21:42:57.494-07:00Pregnancy Week 4/5?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
YAY! Yes! We're pregnant and expecting our second little love!<br>
<br>
First of all, I have to say that I completely had no idea but woke up and realized I hadn't gotten a period. It was as simple as that.<br>
<br>
I tested on a whim and the first test was faulty! Water marks, weird disappearing test lines, totally not believable. So, hubby ran out to get another and it showed positive right away! YES! POSITIVE!<br>
<br>
I thought this week was extra hard on me because it was my first week at work, but lo and behold, I had a little cutie in my belly!<br>
<br>
We're absolutely ecstatic!<br>
<br>
Symptoms:<br>Cramping.<br>
Some bloating.<br>
Fatigue.<br>
<br>
Obviously there are no real changes, I felt like I was getting my period for about 10 days now. Haha. Nope! I have no nausea, no headaches, nothing like that. I really feel great!<br>
<br>
Last time, with Eliana, I found out at 5 weeks. I'm about 5 weeks today.<br>
<br>
Alhamdulilah. We're filled with tons of joy and big dreams for this beautiful baby. I'm praying for this child to be safe, healthy, and for this pregnancy to go well!</div>
Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-12344722754562940622013-09-04T08:42:00.000-07:002013-09-04T08:42:24.229-07:00My favourite season<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'm going to miss autumn.<br />
I'm going to miss the smell of firewood burning.<br />
I'm going to miss breathing in the crisp cool air.<br />
I'm going to miss the crunching of colourful leaves under my feet.<br />
I'm going to miss being enveloped by soft fabric, my sweater and scarf.<br />
I'm going to miss the smell of pumpkin pie.<br />
I'm going to miss the grey sky.<br />
I'm going to miss the look of rain drops on dark stone.<br />
I'm going to miss the sound of leaves rattling in the breeze.<br />
I'm going to miss autumnal comfort food, warm and aromatic.<br />
I'm going to miss walking slowly around a beautiful small town as I take in all of the beauty that autumn has to offer. It's truly my favourite season, everything about it makes me calm. Nothing is better than my husband's warm hand in mine and the sound of my little baby kicking in her stroller as we walk around orange mums and carved pumpkins before maghrib. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Everything was silent, no car horns, just the sound of leaves swirling at our feet and distant laughter from rosy cheeked school children.<br />
What am I going to do without the most comfortable season of the year?<br />
<br />
If autumn lasted longer back home I would have never left it behind...</div>
Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-73268259728955694572013-08-21T12:26:00.000-07:002013-08-21T12:26:16.228-07:00UGH. Too many choices.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Everyone fights to have the ability to choose. People spend time and money to have the right to choose... and then when we're faced with too many choices we naturally want to throw our hands up and say, "Ya Allah give me whatever is best for me!" Which is by no means a bad thing to do, but it all becomes so overwhelming that we sit back and make excuses for not making up our minds.<br />
<br />
This week I've been so frazzled. We moved to our apartment in Makkah to stay for good while we worked out my working situation. I had an offer from one school, then two, then three. All had amazing perks, and really, really bad things which made it seriouly hard not to just give up and stay at home with my baby. 3 callbacks... that's more than what I expected and it's great. I'm not complaining. Oh wait... I am. It was TERRIBLE.<br />
<br />
I mean, even getting to the first interview was this emotional explosion. I didn't expect it, but the idea of leaving my baby for the first time really hurt me and I spent a week procrastinating because I didn't know if I was ready to leave her. I got over it, I motored on.<br />
<br />
With school A, I saw them first and I loved the manager who interviewed me and I adored the location and the building. I was incredibly happy to land that job, that is, until my brother in law told my husband that the pay was extremely low. For 4 hours a day, 4 days a week I thought it was amazing. It was the hours that won me, just enough that I could get out of the house without feeling like I was going to die if I didn't go home. I liked the method of teaching, I completed the online course, I was ready.<br />
<br />
Then I got callbacks from two other schools...<br />
<br />
I thought, because of the pay issue, I might as well see what I can get! I rushed to school B. School B was very prompt in replying. They told me to prepare 2 mock lessons, 5 minutes long. The language barrier between the woman on the phone and I had me completely confused and I was really nervous that I would get there and make a fool out of myself during my mock lesson.<br />
<br />
I got to school B and I told the front desk I wanted to see Mrs. so and so and she <i>waved me up the stairs.</i> Ok, hella rude, but I ignored it. I walked upstairs and poked my head into 3 offices before finding Mrs. so and so. I got there and she was nice enough, that is, until she made a comment about me being <i>big</i> and <i>tall</i> and that I didn't look like a good candidate for teaching kids because I might <i>scare them!</i> I sucked in a breath and didn't respond. She then got the demo ready, and my mock student ended up being student<b>s</b>. They liked my kids demo and then I went into the subject matter that Mrs. so and so had me prepare- grammar in 5 minutes. I turned to the white board and they started whispering in arabic behind me, giggles, and I remembered Mrs.so and so's comment and tried not to think about it but I could feel the sting in my eyes. I wanted to cry, since getting there it DID NOT go well. Mrs. so and so was rude, these mock students who would be teachers I work with could see I was not in my game, I felt like a major idiot. I bombed my grammar lesson.<br />
<br />
Before meeting with Mrs. so and so they pulled her aside, probably to tell her I was incompetent. She walked into her office, looked me up and down, and told me that I was hired and she wanted me to work Sunday. She also told me that the demo bombed and she didn't care because it was a stressful situation to be put in... I didn't want to like her. I already saw how they worked there. I didn't feel good at all. The pay, however, was excellent. Beyond excellent. As soon as I left I felt sick... would I really sacrifice happiness for money? Maybe. If I could suck up my pride and walk in there again. It was unlikely. <br />
<br />
Then I headed to my next interview, a bit shaken, emotional. It was a really well funded facility, clean, lots of young teachers. I met the manager and we started talking. She was friendly and sociable, she told me she liked me right away and it boosted my confidence enough that I forgot about school B. She told me school C was the largest in the world, and it looked like it. She couldn't give me an accurate idea of what my salary would be, somewhere between 6 and 7 thousand. Later into the interview things got unprofessional. She told me she fired someone because they didn't say Hi, she told me I was taking the spot of someone who she was going to fire for gossip. She offered to hang out and smoke shisha (not something I do...). I was getting a weird vibe, they all seemed very... close. She was the 'popular' girl at work, the boss, and that scared me. A lot. I still don't know what to make of them. They have a driver, the funding, great vacation pay, all the good stuff. But they scared me a bit, and not knowing my salary does NOT help me make a decision.<br />
<br />
So now, after tons of STRESS I decided to follow my heart and stick with school A, the pay isn't great but the hours are. The environment looked healthy. They were very professional. Sometimes making choices is overwhelming, hard, and<i> now</i> not something I want to do for a very long time...</div>
Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-8145847489175427222013-08-09T05:19:00.002-07:002013-08-09T05:19:58.784-07:00This Month! Eid, Eating Habits ( and one HEALTHY recipe)Eid mubarak to everyone! I've been so busy!<br />
<br />
Last week and four days after- I went into surgery for a chest infection. All good now, just healing! Not so happy about the scar but I'm really happy about feeling better before eid! My hospital experience was absolutely amazing and I hope to write about it soon.<br />
<br />
Healing and hectic trip to Makkah- my MIL wanted to do Umrah and my husband and I had to travel to Jeddah for my job, so my SILs and MIL joined us for a trip to Makkah. It was really hectic, really stressful, worthwhile, and at least we got what we needed done. I didn't do umrah during ramadan, mainly because it was too crowded for Eliana and I didn't want to risk getting sick so soon after my surgery.<br />
<br />
EID- Eid just SHOWED up among the chaos. We nearly forgot. Eid here is a weird, wonderful, festive, and fun experience. I'm so happy to have been here to enjoy it with my husband and his family. Eliana made tons of money and ate tones of chocolate, both things make me nervous! We started her back on Cloth diapers yesterday and let me tell you- it was a mistake. Whatever she ate yesterday was NOT good! Haha! I didn't enjoy being separated from my husband, was thrown in with people who don't understand me while he visited a village worth of family. I missed him, but I did go to a party! It was lovely. The fireworks are terrifying here, not so sure if everyone knows firework safety! Today is a huge village get together, tomorrow my FIL and all his brothers will all go BBQ in the outdoors with their families, all of the 100 or so of us! I'm really excited for it.<br />
<br />
I've just been extremely overwhelmed with it all. On a positive note I've got my daughter back on a good sleeping schedule, 930-10pm nightly, which I know is really early for a Saudi kid. I just can't keep seeing her stay up until the wee hours for absolutely no reason. She gets really grumpy, plus my husband and I have some more free time this way!<br />
<br />
I haven't been eating as well as I could be. I feel like I've had my fill of chips and fries and sweets and shwarama... maybe not my fill of shwarama, but a lot of it. Our Pomegranates and Figs on the farm are ready, however, so I've been feasting on fresh, organic, FREE fruit. I'm so excited about the variety we have in the farm, all seem exotic and extremely expensive (One Pom in Canada is like $2.50- $3!) I've had WAY too much rice, I'm getting so sick of it! Instead, a couple of nights ago I made up a huge Greek Salad for the family and it was a huge hit. I don't remember if I've ever posted the recipe, I'm way lazy to check. I adapted this recipe from one my Aunt made when I stayed with her before we moved here. It's to die for, it keeps so well and tastes better the next day...<br />
<br />
ANOTHER GREEK:<br />
<br />
Dressing:<br />
One lemon, 1tsp chopped rind, rest of juice squeezed<br />
1 tbs oregano<br />
1 1/2 tbs parsely<br />
2 tbs Balsamic Vinigar<br />
1 tbs white vinigar<br />
5 tbs Olive Oil<br />
1 Garlic clove chopped finely<br />
4 black olives chopped finely (I hate olives but the dressing really needs them)<br />
1/2 tsp each Salt and Pepper<br />
<br />
Combine all ingredients and let sit for an hour.<br />
<br />
The Salad:<br />
5 Cucumbers cubed<br />
2 Green peppers cubed<br />
1 Red or Yellow Pepper cubed<br />
2 Tomatoes cubed<br />
1 large or 2 small Red onions sliced thinly<br />
1/2 feta, drained and crumbled (in Saudi Feta is wet-ish and creamy, I cut it into cubes and let it strain in a colander for 2 hours, it was dryer and more salad friendly when I added it in)<br />
2 1/2 cups of cooked pearled wheat (some salt added)<br />
1 can of chickpeas boiled<br />
<br />
Combine all ingredients, feta being last. Pour on the dressing and allow the wheat to absorb the flavour, it's much better if you make this salad in advance.<br />
This salad easily fed 11 of us, if you make it in this quantity it will last a small family 2 or 3 meals so it's perfect for us and I make it a lot. Keeps 4-5 days.Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-34720528479469266172013-07-22T14:53:00.000-07:002013-07-22T14:57:09.515-07:00Summer Work Attire.I hate the heat. I'm a hot blooded grizzly of a Canadian and I don't mind the cold- at all. In fact, summer was my least favourite season. Of course, that's how it goes until you marry a Saudi and he swoops you away to the middle east in summer.<br />
<br />
Also, I cover. No matter how little goes <i>under</i> the abaya, it's still hot. I'm still covered. I'd still be hot even if I were butt naked. Saudi Arabia gets hot.<br />
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Now we're moving to Jeddah and I'll have to sacrifice good weather here in the Saudi South (20-30 degrees) for opportunities and a new home in 40 degree weather. I know, I know- there are seasons where it gets breezy and nice in Jeddah. I'm just too darn hot all the time.<br />
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I'm really at a loss when it comes to hot weather work attire. I'm worried I'll sweat off all my makeup, ruin my hair with my shaylah, and wear the <i>wrong</i> clothes to work. I'd hate to do that, and I'd hate to be standing there teaching all those kids while sweat runs off my brow like I'm a disgusting sloppy, meting mess. Lol. Sorry. That's what I invision! I want to find youthful (I'm nearing 23... only. Yes.), colorful, fun, weather friendly work attire that covers my shoulders and is relatively inexpensive. Is. This. Possible?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">pic from costalpolitan</td></tr>
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I'm pretty dead set on getting some nude pumps, mainly because they match all colours and the dust wont destroy them like it did my back flats. Poor babies. I like nude, I like the idea of having something I can wear with a lot of different items. I like the idea of low maintenance. (Before I was a mother I had nearly 18 pairs of shoes... now I have three. Running, sandals, and flats. All black. It's a sad reality that I don't have time to match shoes to my outfits anymore.)<br />
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<b>Q. 1) What would look good with nude shoes in terms of a book bag/ purse. What colour? Should I just get a nude purse?</b><br />
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I'm thinking something along the lines of a quarter sleeve cardigan and a skirt. I dread the thought of 'slacks' and a blouse, I don't want to look matronly or be uncomfortable. Something about slacks always made me feel fat, most are high waist-ed yet not high enough waist-ed to properly fit me. They always cut me off in my ponch area, you know <i> the area that my child thrived in for 9 months.</i> Yeah, that area.<br />
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<b>Q. 2) Nylons, good in hot weather or not? My legs look hellish from mosquito bites. </b><br />
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Anyway, at the bottom I will include some pictures of outfits I like for summer. Feel free to comment and agree or disagree!<br />
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<br />Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-56756909240500669442013-07-22T13:55:00.001-07:002013-07-22T14:13:05.855-07:00A bright future<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Things are looking up it seems! I've made personal changes, not only from within but around me as well. I've laid down boundaries, and everyone seemed to respond well (maybe a few huffs and puffs from my young SIL, but that was expected).<br />
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Ramadan always gives me a new start. Everything seems to fit and fall into place this month, the same thing happened last year. I find that routines take shape nicely, too- and I seriously needed some routine in our household! The last three months have been disorderly, I was slack on cleaning and personal goals. I've changed. It feels good!<br />
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Basically, our sleep schedule is regular, and even though we'll change it again after Ramadan it's a lot easier to change a pattern where there was one to begin with. Hopefully I'll get my daughter to sleep earlier than my husband and I, it has always been a thing where all three of us fall asleep together. I've discovered that even an hour of alone time at the end of a day makes for a happy marriage, and I'm really thankful for that simple discovery.<br />
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With a good nights sleep I've woken up energized and happy. I'm cleaning the house, cooking good, wholesome food like I used to, and I even have time to pamper myself. I'm much happier in a clean house with manicured nails!<br />
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Last week we went to Jeddah for a much needed retreat and I must say- my husband completely spoiled me. We ate well every night, we stayed out and did a lot of fun things, we even went shopping and he didn't complain! Sometimes I get the feeling like good things wont last, but not this time. I knew he was doing it all because he loved me and he told me as long as that didn't change neither would the good treatment. It was very, very nice. <br />
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In Jeddah we went to an amusement park, the Aquarium, the beach, and a few malls.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Delicious</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One night with the Inlaws<br />
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The other thing I did was take a huge leap. I got a job, inshallah, with a very well known english school. I'm supposed to start after Ramadan which means my husband, daughter, and I will have to move to Jeddah asap. I'm really excited, though I'm extremely nervous about leaving my daughter because I never have. My husband says he can work it out where one of us is at home while the other works, and that makes me feel a lot better since I really don't want a 'nanny' for Elly. I already feel like 'more' of a person, more 'me'. It will also be really nice to have some of my own spending money, and the first thing I'm saving for is a trip to Canada when I can!<br />
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The inlaws don't come over every day now, and I've liked them A LOT more because of it. I knew I needed my distance! We do break our fasts together, which is nice, and a lot less cooking for me to do! lol.<br />
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Anyway, I know moving and a new job is going to make me busy but I'm going to try to stay positive since it seems Allah swt has lightened everything that was dark in my life. Alhamdulilah.<br />
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<br />Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-12953836395413229752013-07-09T22:24:00.001-07:002013-07-22T14:12:13.005-07:00Ramadan mubarak! <div dir="ltr">
Ramadan mubarak to everyone! I can't believe how quickly it's arrived! </div>
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This Ramadan I'd like to make it less about food and more about betterment of self. I would like to become more tolerant, hold my temper, and enjoy simple things without too much exposure to the tv... internet. </div>
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I'd like to learn 2 surrahs, read quran every day with my family, and explore ramadan festivities in an islamic country (which from what I see is over the top! Im really excited for what we will have in store, locally).</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah... we ate it all.</td></tr>
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I would also like to <i>decorate </i>the house like I did before my daughter was born. I think I will invite all the kids here to do some crafts, like lanterns. Lol, the poor things want to spend time with Elly and I but sleep too early and I keep missing them. I would love to pass time with the kids instead of them passing the time with busy maids...</div>
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What I plan not to do is watch all of the smutty, crazy arabic shows that only come out during Ramadan here. It's really curious that scandalous tv dramas only seem to pop up during a <i>holy </i>month!</div>
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My husband also plans to take us to Jeddah next week, inshallah. I keep seeing tons of ramadan/summer related fun going on there and it's calling us! I know something like that will lift my spirits and is just what I need.</div>
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Finding alone time with my husband is really hard with a baby daughter, 8 siblings and their kids around <i>all of the time</i>, now with longer prayers, time for quran, and more people here for summer and Ramadan- this is going to be a hard month, I can already tell. Im glad we'll be travelling a bit. I'm a clingy wife lol!</div>
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Even though I want to make the month less about food on a personal level, I do plan to post some pictures of iftar and sohoor with recipes. I love seeing what other people are having, I'm already inspired to be more healthy this time!</div>
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Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-12305186785152204032013-07-07T21:29:00.001-07:002013-07-07T21:30:03.674-07:00Making changes to make this HomeIn the beginning I was in love, the idea of adventure and the thrill of a new life captured my heart and blinded me to a lot of what I was giving up.<br />
Now, two months in, I find myself awake, aware- and all the sudden it's like a slap in the face that just keeps stinging.<br />
I keep feeling lost, or as if I've lost everything. Yes, I've gained a home or two. Yes, it was the right financial move for my family. Yes, my husband is happier. Yes, my daughter is receiving more attention. But I have lost so much- deep, personal things that define me and my person. Things that make me...<i>me</i>.<br />
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So now, I'm trying to recreate myself. It's not simple, and the idea is hard to wrap my head around, but moping and feeling depressed is going to kill me-or worse, end my beautiful marriage with a man who deserves me. <br />
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I have made a short list of what I really dislike about life here. Like a pro/con list, I've written what I can do to change what I dislike. I know this next month, my demands, my changes are going to cause a fire between my husband and I but I'd rather start a fire and put it out than to let it become uncontrollable.<br />
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I no longer wish to cover my face, though I dislike the idea of making my female 'family members' uncomfortable with me. I haven't decided what the course of action is, but it's most likely that once we move out of our small village to Jeddah, that I will no longer cover.<br />
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I will demand to go out more, even if it's for no reason. I will not take no for an answer, my husband brought me here and he will have to make sacrifices, too.<br />
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I will take my daughter for walks. I miss that, whether it's in a mall or out in the open, we will be taking walks.<br />
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I will immerse myself in the Arabic language so I no longer feel detached and dependent on my husband. I will also find a way to be social and meet English speaking people.<br />
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These are just a few of the changes I will be making. I have been actively trying to show our maids who and what I am- making myself more comfortable with being <i>myself</i> here in Saudi Arabia. I have started <i>eating</i> with them, inviting them for tea, and treating them like the humans they deserve to be treated as. By doing this, I am setting an example of myself not only to them, but to my husband and his family and all Saudi's I come in contact with. I am not a follower. I am Bridgette.<br />
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I have been saying no to people, which I had stopped doing in order to fit in. That has stopped, because I realize that if I allow myself to become a doormat will be seen as a doormat. If I don't want something, I say no. I will make boundaries so I stay comfortable, even if my excuse is " We don't do this back home" or " I am western." Yes, I am, and some things to me are not acceptable.<br />
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Yelling at the maid, yelling at my child, feeding my child without asking, inviting yourself in, going into my bedroom, these are all not allowed in my home. I am not Saudi.<br />
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It' also hard to say that, but once I admitted I will never be like these people, I felt better. I will never integrate enough to become 'one of them'. I will always be Hani's wife, I will always be the foreigner or 'hawajah'. An outsider. That is okay.<br />
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Soon I will have the freedom to decorate my own home, this will include tons of plants, western style couches, an electric oven, and all of the things I loved at home- since the majority of my time will be here, I have to make my home my paradise. I won't be shy about money, wants, or needs. I will try to obtain what I believe is good for me, and good for my family without budging. No sacrifices there.<br />
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I'm writing this here because I feel like I'm declaring it, and once it's been published, I'll be held to it. Sound stupid? Not really, I like to think if one person see's this I'll hold myself to it and when the time comes to be ME- I will remember what I said, and that I keep my word.<br />
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I will not allow myself to be unhappy here. I wanted this, now I have to suck it up.<br />
Let's hope being assertive is enough.<br />
<br />Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-41872789839330355012013-07-03T14:57:00.003-07:002013-07-22T14:04:58.519-07:00JuneOh no it's not the 4th of July! What the what? Where did June go?<br />
I've got to summarize since it's been a full month and a lot has happened!<br />
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First of all, and most importantly, my baby daughter turned one! My sweet angel, my lovely cutie. I can't believe it's been a full year since I met her! It has certainly been a year of love- and I am so in love with her big brown eyes, head of crazy baby hair, her infectious smile, buck teeth, and little girly voice. I meant to post something memorable but I DELETED IT BY ACCIDENT and was so mad that I didn't blog for another 2-3 weeks. I'm an<i> adult. </i>I don't have a temper.<br />
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My husband told me to post that I am the queen of denial. Thanks, baby.<br />
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Elly also learned to walk. Yup. 2 days after she learned to crawl she was walking (now <i>running).</i> Remember how I wanted to work out? Well, thank's Allah! I've been chasing a squealing baby for almost a month, my legs are still toned, and I've managed to keep her out of the toilet she so craves to bathe in. It all worked out in the end.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0E7LJHr4Yaygdu3ux5DpTogfhyU60lO2GvOnWjeFEinhtQM5S4r-tqqrbO1MG1M4p5LvW-wjZDPCORe7HCLgIbYwQea0n4qffnkrmAfBL79d-aXoNqQn9qkV4GUTVBfM_zYacIBLmGTg/s1600/20130615_221417.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0E7LJHr4Yaygdu3ux5DpTogfhyU60lO2GvOnWjeFEinhtQM5S4r-tqqrbO1MG1M4p5LvW-wjZDPCORe7HCLgIbYwQea0n4qffnkrmAfBL79d-aXoNqQn9qkV4GUTVBfM_zYacIBLmGTg/s320/20130615_221417.jpg" width="212" /></a>On that note, Elly has lost most of her chubby charm due to running and sickness. I feel terrible. She's been sick 3 times with stomach upsets (likely from teething and being fed by many, probably unwashed, children's hands in my short absences). Mix bouts of throwing up, with a 5 day long breast hiatus because of 4 teeth coming at once- I'm not kidding (nearly broke me down, so not ready to stop BFing), with teething related picky eating, and running- you've got a lean lil toddler. I know I'm over reacting, she's about 25-26 lbs, but she used to be close to 30. She's left mommy to be the only chub in the family now, <i>so not cool.</i><br />
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<i>Ugh.</i>Sickness. I've been sick. Right now I have mastitis, which I'm slowly starting to accept requires medication. I'm not a fan. Fevers, throwing up, lethargy. I excitedly thought I was pregnant. Nope! Last week I fainted twice, WTHeck? They said it was altitude sickness. Before that I had stomach issues. What the hell is going on? Can anyone who's moved to another country please help me understand why this is happening? I'm clean, I'm cautious. Why!!!<br />
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Enough complaining. We saw the beach in a short trip to Jeddah. I loved it! It was bizarre, as we left our car was making a weird sound, we quickly drove to a car...place (can you tell I've never had a car yet?), they quickly retrieved a fish hook and fishing wire from our tire. I laughed, oh I laughed. How does that happen? My husband got me assorted delicious cheeses, I was bored of feta, so it was an excellent treat. We ate cheese and sat comfortably in each other's arms watching medieval movies. True love.<br />
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I made tacos. So... I can live here now. It's decided. My only fear has been vanquished.<br />
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Anyway, I know we did a lot more in the month of June but Elly keeps pinching me and I think that means GET OFF THE COMPUTER MAMA!<br />
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This month is Ramadan, I'm excited to experience it in an Islamic country.Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-21389449981353878642013-07-01T18:16:00.000-07:002013-07-22T14:06:04.129-07:00Happy Canada Day!This week I've been very homesick. I don't like to whine at my husband about this place, but there is nothing like being homesick the very first time! It hurts, and all I do is dream about what I used to have.<br />
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I always wanted to come to Saudi Arabia, it's an easier life (in terms of necessities: money, housing, food) but with that came a lot of sacrifices. I know the move was better for my family starting out, we've been blessed with two apartments across the country from each other (a nice change of scenery when we want it), a good car (from no car to good car is always nice) and I've pretty much been able to eat and wear what I want. I'm not complaining, I wouldn't be here if Allah didn't will it. I just miss home.<br />
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And it's a simple as that! I miss the quality of food (and my favourites), I miss easily finding organic goods, I miss my family (oh god I miss them so much!), I miss not having to cover- not that I hate it but I miss not having to, and I miss walks.<br />
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I miss LONG walks. I miss the great walking weather. I miss the freedom to walk by myself, without having to worry a car will strike me down or someone will try talking to me. I used to walk miles a day- no exaggerating here. We never had a car growing up, until we came here I was accustomed to public transit (when I had the change lol) and walking. I miss taking my little daughter out to the park in the stroller.<br />
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I also miss my independence and my solitude. I can't seem to keep my inlaws off my doorstep (especially my SILs), and while it's nice and they'd visit each other as much, I come from a very private, small family. I like getting calls before someone pounds on my door. Just sayin'.<br />
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I've tried to work through that issue but it didn't work out. Now instead of meeting them with a smile, I'm easily irritated and I don't want them to get a bad impression of me. Yet, it doesn't matter how many times I tell them, or what time it is, or if I'm about to shower- they come a'knockin'. It almost feels as if they are being inconsiderate, and it pisses me off that my husband doesn't feel the same way or sympathize.<br />
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We'll see how I adjust in the year.<br />
Theres no doubt that I will never stop missing <i>home.</i>Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-951451614673641962013-05-11T10:10:00.003-07:002013-07-22T14:08:11.734-07:00Little AdventuresMy husband is great! He took me out this afternoon, despite being really tried, and found a lovely place for us to take some pictures and walk. It was a great surprise.<br />
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I've wanted to enter or at least get close to a lot of the very old structures here, we tried, until we ended up in front of someone's house and they generously invited us in (as per custom), and my husband is so shy (naturally) and so worried I can't make conversation because of my arabic skills, so we left. It's was nice and interesting though.<br />
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Oh, and the reason we didn't get to the old place was because apparently people are too scared and there was no way to get up by car. Just climb. Lol. I wish I wasn't so adventurous! I was bummed out. I can see why people are scared (the believe of Jinn in these old places) but since Richard, I'm pretty much fearless. Besides, knowing not a lot of people trek up in the hills and mountains to these old places means there is more for me to discover.<br />
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It's actually very interesting, a lot of Saudi Arabia remains intact and untouched, especially because when you discover artifacts (as someone recently did here, a woman's face in stone that dates back 1000 years before Islam) you don't get money for them like in the West. That dramatically reduces the desire to plunder artifacts for money, apparently. You get named the discoverer which is pretty darn cool, though. Bridgette Martin, explorer? Heck yeah!<br />
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I watched a show on Saudi by BBC and it talked about that very subject. I'll have to search it up and post it : The frankincense trail (I'm pretty sure that's what it was). The hostess went scuba-diving and found tons of old incense burners and a ship- never been discovered. Just like that! Isn't that incredible, to know there are so many little things out there to be found? I'm not really the type to remove these things, but take pictures? of course! Everything has it's place.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful Saudi South</td></tr>
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We drove up mountains and down into valleys, we got pretty close to some old stuff, took a ton of pictures, and relaxed. I walked a little, but today was breezy and lovely so a lot of people were out and about. We found a really nice park, it's just being finished and I cannot wait to take Eliana.<br />
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Canada is so new so it's always such a thrill to touch and examine things before my time. I'm getting my fill, that's for sure. I can't wait for my husband to take me to the old houses... if we can find a way up to them!<br />
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That reminds me, I found these really beautiful flower print hiking boots...<br />
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<br />Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-13531074301840917242013-05-10T14:35:00.000-07:002013-05-10T14:35:56.546-07:00Almost a month!I've been here 3 weeks and a day. I'm terrible at math so I could be wrong! It has passed me by so quickly, almost as quickly as my daughter's first year... woah.<br />
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The weather here is beautiful. I know I'm missing the best season in Canada right now, but it's actually slightly cooler here in Al Baha than it is in Ontario, surprisingly! The sun, the breeze, it all calls me. But can I go for a walk? Nuh uh. I'm trying to get my husband to find a park nice enough and <i>private</i> enough that we can go for a nice long walk like we used to. It's been hard.<br />
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My foots been falling asleep a lot, like every day for a week. I need to get out of here and jog. I had a dream last night that I walked past all the store fronts and window shopped. I'm deprived, at the moment.<br />
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Don't get me wrong, it's not that people don't walk or my husband wont let me. It's just finding a nice area to do it where you wont get run over by cars or harassed by teenage boys.<br />
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It's also kind of hard here with the weird roads up the mountain, if we got down a little to a different area I know for a fact there are nicer parks (larger parks) but the land demographic <i>here</i> just wont allow it. I'll have to wait and pace around the living room a couple more times *sigh*.<br />
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My lovely husband took me out to Little Caesars here, it tasted like home and I practically inhaled it. To be perfectly honest, I like chicken and rice a lot, but not as much as my husband's family and I was starting to get really bored from eating. Yes, me! Bored from eating! Can you believe it?<br />
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We were tucked away in the family section with our pizza, crazy bread, and wings under the AC and beside a window- the best spot in the lot. I promptly uncovered myself, all of myself. I sat there in my dress, like I was in Canada, except no one could watch me eat. I swear to god I was moaning with pleasure, my husband shot me a crazy look and I had to stop. It was <i>SO</i> good. So good that I had to take picture. So good that I ate half a pizza. I'll admit it. Yup.<br />
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Did I mention I haven't had pepperoni on pizza in like 5 years? Like that's an excuse for eating as much as I did, haha.<br />
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Then he took me to find a book to write in. I'm starting a gratitude journal and taking control of my happiness! I'm not unhappy here, but it's different and I find it hard to be optimistic when so much change is happening around me. My husband is getting his job back, inshallah, we're moving to Jeddah or Makkah soon, my daughter is 1 in a month, and life here is so different...<br />
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I knew I had to do something or I was going to become a big ball of crazy emotion and then the idea was presented to me- a gratitude journal, a book of all of the things that made me happy, all of the things that I am thankful for, all of the things people did for me and I did for them. I can tell you, from the first page, a lot of the stuff is things that <i>my husband</i> has done for me and it opened my eyes to how accommodating and lovely he's been.<br />
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So we got that and then we went to a store so I could find a new abaya- which I did! Which I love! It's lovely, it's perfect, dare I say it is <i>beautiful.</i> It's not special but the one I had (which I spent a whopping 60$ cdn on) was heavy, huge, and I looked like someone's Saudi grandmother rather than a 22 year old wife. Anyway, it was 90 SAR, I don't even know where I got it but it's lighter and more comfortable and the boost I needed.<br />
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Life is moving on.<br />
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<br />Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-59657961268374011852013-05-04T11:00:00.001-07:002013-07-22T14:02:30.579-07:00Saudi MakeupFood here is cheap.<br />
So is clothing.<br />
Pretty much everything here is very cheap <i>except for makeup. </i><br />
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I made the mistake of leaving all of my good stuff at home, hundreds of Canadian dollars down the drain there. All of my nail polish, everything! I thought, like everything else, I'd be able to find it here no problem. Well, I was wrong and I'll be the first to admit it. I'm suffering.<br />
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Finding and experiencing new brands used to be a hobby of mine, now it's a nightmare. I am tossed around by products, some look amazing but the quality stinks, some look terrible but have staying power like nothing else I've ever used. It's the mix of arab, asian, and european market brands here that make it absolutely impossible to find anything good or worthwhile without buying, taking home, and either loving or regretting, first.<br />
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There are no real huge malls here in Al Baha, so I've experienced a couple of stores in search of makeup brushes. Let e tell you- they are as expensive if not more expensive than Canada. I couldn't even tell if it was a good brand because I've never heard of it! God knows if it's like dollar store quality and I don't know. Plus, you can test on your hand but no where else, so I'm frightened to run out of foundation and have to go looking for that later on.<br />
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And the men!<br />
Agh!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Looking good guuuurl!</td></tr>
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I love it when there is a nice covered saudi woman at the counter. I politely tell her how I don't speak arabic and she guides me towards the good stuff and is very helpful, when I'm done she cuts me a deal (doesn't use me!) and I usually get something free in the end. Done and done. When there is a man around I feel like he's burning holes into my abaya and my hand with his eyes- especially because I'm english. Then suddenly the 24 riyal nail polish becomes 40 riyals. I CAN READ, MAN!<br />
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Anyway...<br />
I hardly talk to anyone without my scary husband anyway.<br />
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I can't wait to move to the city where there are malls with sephora and other things I'm familiar with. I guess I can't escape the price, which is a pity, but at least I know what I'm buying.<br />
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Now I have to tackle my organic fix and lingerie.<br />
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No organic stuff here from what I've seen, not Baha nor Makkah. Lingerie? Awkward, and I'm saving it for later.<br />
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If anyone has tips on finding makeup here PLEASE, let me know. I'm stressing!Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-10092596737119564202013-05-03T08:45:00.001-07:002013-05-03T08:45:54.885-07:00Week 1- Hello Country, Hello SICKNESSSo we've been here ten days, maybe? I lost track.<br />
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We have been so sick. My daughter has never been sick so for her to go from a stomach upset to a head cold was a true test of our parenting and <i>my</i> strength as a mother. I lived with my parents before, so it was easy to take care of scary situations or new developments in her. Of course, everything happens at once and when I'm by myself.<br />
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The morning my daughter started throwing up (day 2) we took her to a private clinic in Makkah. It looked a lot like the old clinics in Canada, a bit run down, not very high tech, kind of unclean. I wasn't impressed, especially because I was freaking out over my daughter's projectile vomiting. The doctor only talked to my husband (where I was previously always the one to deal with doctors) and the next thing I knew my daughter was getting a shot for Rotavirus? I basically looked at my husband with a "don't you dare" expression on my face. I still don't understand why she got it, which was a big no-no. I, first of all, would not have taken her to get medicated had she not been vomiting so much the first time she's ever been sick. I went in search of a few reassuring words and some directions on how to deal with the sickness, not shots and two huge bottles of medicine... (one for colic? Wtf!) If I could contact my parents, or <i>someone</i> I would have been able to get advice. It was an emotional fiasco. I was very upset. Needless to say, she was vomiting without diarrhea so it wasn't rotavirus, and it was easy to deal with (just a lot of clean up)!<br />
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The next, next day we met my in laws. They had a great party for us and it was heartwarming to see my husband so happy and comfortable. They're all great people, and I'm very lucky to be a part of their family. It's lovely here in Al Baha (18 degress, 10 at night), we have an apartment to ourselves- so it's been nice to get some time alone, too. Every so often the maid comes to clean, comes to take Eliana to her grandparents, and I get a break (which feels really, really weird).<br />
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Our second day her and we caught a head cold thing. My daughter has her first fever, and I was seriously sick as well with terrible fever. I don't think I have ever felt so sick. We were run down from the stomach issues from before, so this was pretty intense and it's almost gone except for some runny noses.<br />
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As soon as the fever was gone, my daughter learned to crawl! Guess how I found out? With my daughter crawling off the bed while I fetched her a diaper. Yup. From the middle of the king sized bed onto hardwood floor. I screamed bloody murder, the maid and ALL of my in laws came running into the apartment to find me crying and my daughter happily at my boob. Lovely.<br />
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Now shes standing by herself, walking against furniture, crawling absolutely everywhere. All I can say is Alhamdulilah <i>I feel better now</i> and I can chase after her.<br />
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I'm still adjusting. I've never used a gas oven, burned a huge patch off my wrist. By huge I mean the size of three fingers. Man I'm an idiot. I have had such a good impression on my in laws... hahaha.<br />
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I really miss my family. It kind of hurts when I see my husband and his family of 10. I miss my family of 4 back home, and my Auntie Jenn, and my Uncle Chris, and my cousin Pat. My little family. I miss them, and of course I talk to them, but I've come to realize it's not the same. Not even remotely. I cried like a baby when I was sick, I wanted my mom. I won't even lie about that or leave it out. The feeling I had when my husband lived in Saudi and I was in Canada was sad and longing- now I feel that for my whole family. At first it felt like I had done them some injustice by leaving them and taking my daughter, obviously it's not true, but I'm just very attached to my family. I miss you guys.<br />
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I've discovered Sun Top, Rani, Miranda, vimto, and Shani. My best friends. Drinks here are awesome, Sun Top is just orange juice, Rani is sparkling orange with pulp (mmm!), miranda is an orange pop, vimto is a fruit drink, Shani is a fruit pop. All of them are amazing. Arabic coffee is amazing. Tea here is amazing. Yum.<br />
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My favourite food these days has to be BBQ chicken arabic style. I love the char flavour, it's so juicy, not overly spicy and quite nice. Arabic bread here is fluffier and fresher than at home. Cheese is good here, and yogurt is a huge thing here. Both are very good quality- your fetas and yogurt cheeses are all top quality. The mozzarella is sub par, and the cheddar... Oh god no. It's ALL processed. By all, I mean I can't even find brick cheddar cheese here. Just american processed cheddar, can, cube, and brick. Bleck! That's something I really miss (I used to eat it daily!).<br />
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I was craving homey foods and I made chili last night. It was just what I needed to wind down. I never used to understand comfort food (though I guess all food was comfort food to me lol) until now. I seriously went from grumpy and pessimistic to full and satisfied in a meal. It meant the world to me.<br />
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On that note I need to find a way to work out here. I can't just as well go walking by myself like I used to. I can't find a female gym, especially here in the south. I think when we're in our 'all the time' apartment I'll invest in a treadmill and bike again, I don't really have a choice because the amount of food I have consumed and the introduction of my first family car has been detrimental to my body, I'm afraid. All ready, I know!<br />
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I ran around and danced in the living room with Eliana, she absolutely loved it and squealed as I jumped and spun. I will do it again, I neglect my arms when I work out but at least I forget about them when I'm holding her. It felt good and made me happy. I collapsed, out of breath and laughing. Elly put her little hand on my chest. What a darling cutie. That kind of work out has got to be good for both of us.<br />
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I find that I sleep an awful lot. I'm working through my issues. I haven't been in the best mood, but I'm getting there. I think it's because I'm lacking my daily walk. I've gone from at least 1 mile a day to 0 in a week and it makes me feel really unwell. It's not something I'm willing to compromise. It's so easy, I need to get my husband on board again. Even if he just takes me to a park (what am I a dog?) 4-5 times a week at night.<br />
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Clothes here are... eccentric at best. Very different fashion than back home. I'm getting used to that too, though, I have to say, I look darn good in some of the stuff. Though, I'm scared to find pants. I'm like a foot taller than anyone I've come in contact with since we got here. Haaa!<br />
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OOOH! But shoes are lovely and inexpensive. I got a new pair, black flats with silver... things. Oh god. I'll insert a picture later. Will send mom shoes. Promise.<br />
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Baby items here are chinese and arab made, a lot different than the toys r us stuff back home. The range from sturdy and safe to flimsy and scary as hell. My father in law seems to be a pro, however, and has spoiled my daughter beyond repair.<br />
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My brother in law is getting married in a month so we went to get dresses made. This is being run by my sister in law, Sharifah. From day one she recorded my colour preferences and my favorite style. She then went out and got a fortune worth of fabric- wine and gold- and told me I was coming with her to get sized by the people who will make my custom designed dress. I told her, I want quarter sleeves, mermaid bottom, slightly scooped neck, and breast feeding friendly. What she designed was something dreamy.<br />
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It's quite interesting how this whole dress making thing works: we left the house at 11pm and drove to someones house. We went behind the house the a shed. A shed. I could fit like 3 people at most! It looked like we were on a drug run, my mother in law and two sister in laws and I got out of the car. I entered last. It was like entering the tardis- Oh my god. The biggest most luxurious room I've ever been in. Not a room, a SHOP! It had henna areas with velvet chairs and fabric hanging from the ceiling and the most delicious perfumes. They had coffee and treats. I passed, because my daughter wailed as she was measured. Like seriously screamed at the top of her lungs. I don't know why? Anyway, that was one serious adventure.<br />
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More updates to come! Tata!<br />
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<br />Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-36027007576245307592013-04-22T14:18:00.001-07:002013-05-03T09:06:44.560-07:00Hello Saudi Arabia!<p dir=ltr>We arrived two days ago, at Jeddah airport, and hastily made our way towards Makkah. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I can't describe how I was feeling, I was overjoyed and at the same time I was so emotional and upset over the distance I put between my family and I. I was really heart broken, I clutched my daughter as I weeped all afternoon. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Let me tell you honestly: the road from Jeddah airport to Makkah makes a seriously terrible impression. I was excited to enter the Holy city- somewhere I thought I would never be permitted to go- but the outskirts of Jeddah and makkah were full of filth and poverty, which to me seemed like it went on forever.  I felt sick that moment I wondered if I had made an irreversible mistake.  </p>
<p dir=ltr>I watched Bangladeshi men walk by in tattered clothes, service our car, and carry on with determination to make the buck they need to eat.  One happily and so gratefully accepted $2 CDN (the tip was like 10 SAR) with a huge smile, I turned ny head so I could swallow my sadness because I had never really seen such poverty except on TV. </p>
<p dir=ltr>My husband generously tipped poor workers as charity and thanks to Allah and I weeped. I saw his happiness and accepted what I had chosen. A life awat from what I knew, that shielded me from sad scenes and the reality of poverty... and death. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Perhaps it was bad timing but a Syrian children's song played.  Once I realized what the words were I felt ill. They sung about their dead siblings and friends- something so close to me in such a different way. Someone took thier family away where only a simple accident took my brother. No injustice, just a tragedy.</p>
<p dir=ltr>In fact I have been glued to a program here. A livestream of Syrian rebels: 24 hour monitoring of who I consider family in my religion. I watch as these men walk miles, forgetting fear in the name of safety for thier people, their wives and children. I never saw something as terrifying as this program, and though I'm fairly numb to death after my brother, I still see the grip on sanity and reality these people have after losing everything. I cannot say I was so familiar with loss.</p>
<p dir=ltr>So we entered Makkah: all I saw was garbage and unmaintained stores. It reminded me of Toronto so much. I felt disappointment. Until we got into the center of the city. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I fell in love with the mountains and marble and the happy people. I saw The madjid al haram and manicured palms and foliage. I saw huge malls with la vie en rose and the latest in fashion.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm never hot because ac pumps chilled air onto me constantly. A man pushed our grocery cart for us and another carried and installed the car seat.  At first the service was unwelcome as I was so not accustomed to it- I come from a country where real service easily becomes perceived as loss of dignity and considered 'too much' work for money. I happily tipped for service and recieved smiles all day. My husband negotiated prices and got 40$ CDN off the car seat.  In Canada you'd be laughed at.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I was upset that my husband worried me so much taking me to such scary places, I told him how I felt relieved that it wasn't all bad and he couldn't stop apologizing.  "I didn't think I just took shortcuts!"</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'd rather take the busy scenic route believe me...</p>
<p dir=ltr>This morning Elly and I came down with something. We feel better now but I was so sick and she was throwing up (she's never been sick) so Hani and I panicked and took her to the hospital. She got an injection for rotavirus and is doing well. We probably got it from being exposed at the haram.</p>
<p dir=ltr>The morning after we arrived we went to do omrah. We did, it was 3:45 am and fairly empty (for being the religious center for millions). I fell in love with the feeling there, even Elly was peaceful as we carried her around.  </p>
<p dir=ltr>We have been adjusting well while staying at my inlaws. We plan to meet them the first time tonight.  I'm excited and nervous. </p>
<p dir=ltr>So far there has been so much to explore and a lot going on. I'll update in a week where I will have travelled across the country to my husband's home. </p>
Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9080571484785914329.post-19390031044596309652013-04-18T08:10:00.001-07:002013-05-10T05:44:42.295-07:00Leaving today!<div dir="ltr">
So it is our afternoon of departure, I know today will be filled mixed feelings but I am majorly excited!</div>
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Our plane ride is about 10 and a half hours to Jeddah. we have packed and we have taken the train to Montreal where we will leave from. All we have left to do is wait. I will update when we arrive 1 a.m. here in Canada. That will be around 8 a.m. there. </div>
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We are so excited that this has come so quickly, which feels funny to say because we waited so long...</div>
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Goodbye Canada. </div>
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To my family and friends: we will miss you all terribly. I woke up this morning scared and uncretain if I would be able to leave you all. I know it's been years in the making but nothing could prepare me for the feelings I will feel or lonliness I will have to overcome when I miss your support and love. I know we will all be in contact, it just makes me sad that I wont be able to hug and kiss you when I want to. <br />
Mom and dad, you gave me the strength and knowledge I needed to explore the world and fall in love in impossible circumstances. You taught me family is everything so I am torn. I love you both with all my heart. I'm crying because I owe you so much and, in my heart I am still a child being seperated from her mom and dad. I will miss you.</div>
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Robert, I love you. We just have each other but i am leaving happy that you have Jenn and a whole life ahead of you. I will be there when you need a friend, guidance, a sister. I will be there when you need me and when you celebrate your happiest moments. I will miss my little brothers and the place we grew up...</div>
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To my friends: you gave me support and confidence that I could conquer a new world. You gave me confidence in myself. Emma, you have grown with me and now we are in opposite parts of the world but you still hold the hugest chunk of my trust, love, and friendship I know will last. Many miles can't erase many years with you. Maryam, I hope to see you in May!</div>
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Now it's time to pack and face this huge change.</div>
Bridgette Martin-Zahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12348728456996816838noreply@blogger.com0