Things to do before baby #2 update...

Ugh hate doing two posts in a day but my other didn't publish for a week. Don't know how I didn't notice...

Anyway, before I get into it I want to say something really important that I've learned: Just because it didn't get done, doesn't mean that you didn't accomplish anything! A lot of people attribute their failing to meet goals with laziness, but sometimes it's just the goal itself. Maybe the goal was too in depth, too hard, or much larger than you thought. I'm not always easy on myself, especially when it comes to parenting, but this time I think I've learned more than I've accomplished and that's an accomplishment in of itself.

I set some goals for myself, and since time is fleeting and I'm due soon I'm starting to notice that I'm not going to get close to any of my goals unless I push my daughter and I in impractical ways. I'm not cool with that for a lot of reasons, mainly, I don't believe that I can rush her 'growing up' process by using tough love and other people's parenting tactics. Call me what you will, an attachment parent, a pushover, but my daughter's wants and needs will never be ignored by me no matter HOW much I want them to let up. It's just not about me, or the new baby, or anyone else's expectations. It's about her, it's about making sure she is comfortable and loved and healthy.

The goals I set for myself were:

1. Night wean Elly. 
2. Sleep Train Elly.
3. Have a hygiene schedule. 
4. Independent toys. 
5. Baby proof. 
6. Dedicated one-on-one time. 

You might read this and think 'well those are all very basic parenting things'. They are! They are important, and I've done what I had to do but the end result wasn't what I expected nearly 80% of the time. Usually the end result was better, or similar but tweaked slightly. 

I didn't night wean my daughter, in fact, it would've been impossible to do that because she doesn't sleep in her own bed. And guess what! I'm not PUTTING her in her own bed, not when the new baby comes, and not right now. We got a king sized bed when we moved to Riyadh and it became apparent very quick that our bedsharing rules made co-sleeping very safe and while I worried and cared for a newborn I don't want to be worrying about my toddler waking up in the middle of the night, every night. It's not worth the sacrifice of sleep when we're all perfectly happy together in bed. A lot of people co sleep and say their husbands are ok with it, but sleep in another bed. My husband is not that kind of man, he's a cuddler, his kid's are cuddlers, and he loves sleeping beside the sweet heavy breaths of our little creation as much as I do. So, night weaning- is it going to happen? Nope. I ALSO learned about tandem nursing, and since my milk increased my daughter's feeding have increased and I noticed a huge change in her happiness- she's not lethargic, sad for no reason, or as needy when I breastfeed her. Now that I am feeding her regularly again, she's happy, I'm happy, and it is possible to nurse both of the kids- so I'll do it! It makes me life easier too, and a lot of moms don't feel that way, but I enjoy breastfeeding and I'm not at the point where I want to stop either.

Did I sleep train Elly? Nope. We tried and it was hell. She didn't know what was going on and was devastated. When we tried to adjust her napping, she did well, but she was also phasing out her 2nd nap. Now she sleeps when we do, wakes 11 hours later, and naps 4 hours after she wakes up for however long she needs. She put herself on a schedule, in a sense.  We tried to put her in her own bed, and we tried putting her down to bed before us. The problem with that was she likes to cuddle and she would roll over to hold onto someone and find no one there, she's wake up in a panic, in the dark, and then proceed to climb out of bed and bang on the door like an inmate. She, in my opinion, is too little for a drastic change- or actually, not too little, but at this stage in her development she's sensing feelings and she was sensing something negative from what we were doing and it was CHANGING her! She was never the type to cry when her dad went to work, and suddenly as soon as the door shut she would scream bloody murder. If I was in the bathroom and shut the door, she would get sad and call me until I was finished. She was going through separation anxiety like most kids her age do, and it wasn't a good time to change things up. Bedtime for her was safe time, and I couldn't force her.

All of the other goals to do with her were met, and exceeded what I expected and I'm just so glad. 

So, as you can see, not exactly everything in it's place but there were realizations and changes and I lost that NEED to meet a deadline. I feel better, she's doing very well with our setup, and my husband is still happy so I guess that's all that matters. Kids grow up fast enough without our prompting, so I figure I'd cuddle, coddle, and dote on her until she runs away from my slobbery kisses and stops laughing at my jokes.

The Biggest Update Ever ( by the laziest blogger ever)

Hi! Long time no talk.
It's been so long that I should read what my last post was about, but I don't have time, so I'm just going to get into it and pretend like I know where I left off.

SO! I finally moved to Riyadh, I'm actually loving it here. It's pleasantly well equipped with all of the shopping/food I could want and for a girl like me that's all I could ask for. Don't know what it is about burgers in this city, but it's a good thing that I don't mind eating burgers.

 Our apartment is shaping up, with some huge pitfalls along the way. One of them is that both of our bathrooms had working toilets when we got here, and they both managed to EXPLODE at the same time, too. Got that fixed, and the handyman cracked all my tiles whilst changing a freakin' hose. How? I don't know, he carries a hammer and smashes up Saudi's bathrooms for revenge or something. Oh! and we got our place painted, and I was relocated to the mall for HOURS because I'm pregnant and can't breathe in fumes/I'm a mother and I wont let my toddler breathe in fumes. After an exhausting mall day with tons of toddler tantrums I got home and there was paint ALL over my tile floors in EVERY one of our 6 rooms that now requires a razor and some elbow grease. Well guess what. It won't be my elbows or their grease cleaning that up. Nope. I'm in my third trimester and I am now qualified to lay down and eat bon bons all day, Dr's orders!

Other than that we're pretty blessed to have found the furniture basics we need for unbelievable prices, I thank ikea, and random souks with sweet spots for a Canadian accent. Actually, all credit is due to my husband the haggling king, even though he usually wastes his time, sometimes he can talk things down even a 1000 SAR. I don't know how he does it, he can be pretty scary though. We officially have a Tv unit, couch, kitchen table (no more eating on the floor YAY!), water cooler, full kitchen, bedroom set, and a washer/dryer unit. That's more than we've ever had as a couple I think, so alhamdulilah.

In all of my 23 years on this earth I have NEVER been so tired/in pain. I've even endured face breaking surgery and a natural delivery of a giant baby- but omg I'm such a baby when it comes to back pain! I had a little with Elly but this time around I'm really feeling it. It's been 3 weeks almost and apparently there is nothing that can be done except have the baby! So, most days I take it easy but after walking/cleaning I'm done for the day and it's really put a halt on what we can/can't do. I used to feel like a superwoman, but I now know how taxing pregnancy can be and totally regret if I ever thought anyone was lying about how crappy it can be sometimes. Thank God, I'm healthy, it's really just this ongoing pain thing that's got me down.

Without any surprise this baby is as big as Elly was, measuring a week or more ahead just like her big sister. Yep, and it's another girl! I'm not 100% convinced since they had also told us we were having a boy early on, but whatever this little one is I don't mind. I'm just happy she's healthy and I take comfort in every kick.

My due date changed as well, it's May 25th as opposed to June 1st, but knowing how long my last pregnancy went I still think we will have another June baby on our hands. We've started seeing a Dr at Dallah Hospital, I like this hospital a lot more than any I've been to in Saudi Arabia and I'm actually getting excited to go through the birthing process again. My main concern was the Dr, and both of our candidates are pretty good. One is a regular OBGYN who is incredibly honest but full of information. We'll meet with the other next week, inshallah, a British midwife, I believe. She handles natural births and so I hope we can click with her.

Elly is 21 months now and thriving. Mashallah, she's talking and singing all day. Her vocabulary seems to boom over night, and she knows almost every word in BOTH languages which just shows how teaching your kids the OPOL (one parent, one language) method really seems to work. Our OBGYN thought she was 3 years old, and was surprised when I told her she wasn't even 2 yet. She's a strong, bright little girl whose toothy smile lightens my mood every day. She still nurses, and we've decided to let her wean herself because she's not showing any signs of letting up. She also reminds me more and more of my  mom and brother Richard, which is more than any of us could ask for after his loss. She's daring and cheeky like him, she's full of a similar energy and my parents have pointed out a lot of her mannerisms are a lot like his. Even her hair. I really take comfort in the similarities, and though it makes me cry and miss him most of the time, I know I carry a little of him with me at all times.

Somehow I think this next baby will be a lot like me, and by a lot like me, that means a lot like my brother Robert, too. That's the beauty of family, they'll never really be gone. Little pieces pop up all over the place, and it doesn't matter if you like it or not, but that's the nature of it all.

I'm excited that my mom will be here at the end of May, inshallah. I can't wait to have her back, making me food and taking care of me. I wish my dad could come, but we'll be going back to Canada for 6 weeks in Sept/Oct with the new baby.

Even though life here is hard at times, I've got a lot to look forward to and there is no doubt how blessed I am. I know time will fly and the baby will be here, and before I know it we'll all be travelling home. I'm taking comfort where I can get it.