Things to do before baby #2 update...

Ugh hate doing two posts in a day but my other didn't publish for a week. Don't know how I didn't notice...

Anyway, before I get into it I want to say something really important that I've learned: Just because it didn't get done, doesn't mean that you didn't accomplish anything! A lot of people attribute their failing to meet goals with laziness, but sometimes it's just the goal itself. Maybe the goal was too in depth, too hard, or much larger than you thought. I'm not always easy on myself, especially when it comes to parenting, but this time I think I've learned more than I've accomplished and that's an accomplishment in of itself.

I set some goals for myself, and since time is fleeting and I'm due soon I'm starting to notice that I'm not going to get close to any of my goals unless I push my daughter and I in impractical ways. I'm not cool with that for a lot of reasons, mainly, I don't believe that I can rush her 'growing up' process by using tough love and other people's parenting tactics. Call me what you will, an attachment parent, a pushover, but my daughter's wants and needs will never be ignored by me no matter HOW much I want them to let up. It's just not about me, or the new baby, or anyone else's expectations. It's about her, it's about making sure she is comfortable and loved and healthy.

The goals I set for myself were:

1. Night wean Elly. 
2. Sleep Train Elly.
3. Have a hygiene schedule. 
4. Independent toys. 
5. Baby proof. 
6. Dedicated one-on-one time. 

You might read this and think 'well those are all very basic parenting things'. They are! They are important, and I've done what I had to do but the end result wasn't what I expected nearly 80% of the time. Usually the end result was better, or similar but tweaked slightly. 

I didn't night wean my daughter, in fact, it would've been impossible to do that because she doesn't sleep in her own bed. And guess what! I'm not PUTTING her in her own bed, not when the new baby comes, and not right now. We got a king sized bed when we moved to Riyadh and it became apparent very quick that our bedsharing rules made co-sleeping very safe and while I worried and cared for a newborn I don't want to be worrying about my toddler waking up in the middle of the night, every night. It's not worth the sacrifice of sleep when we're all perfectly happy together in bed. A lot of people co sleep and say their husbands are ok with it, but sleep in another bed. My husband is not that kind of man, he's a cuddler, his kid's are cuddlers, and he loves sleeping beside the sweet heavy breaths of our little creation as much as I do. So, night weaning- is it going to happen? Nope. I ALSO learned about tandem nursing, and since my milk increased my daughter's feeding have increased and I noticed a huge change in her happiness- she's not lethargic, sad for no reason, or as needy when I breastfeed her. Now that I am feeding her regularly again, she's happy, I'm happy, and it is possible to nurse both of the kids- so I'll do it! It makes me life easier too, and a lot of moms don't feel that way, but I enjoy breastfeeding and I'm not at the point where I want to stop either.

Did I sleep train Elly? Nope. We tried and it was hell. She didn't know what was going on and was devastated. When we tried to adjust her napping, she did well, but she was also phasing out her 2nd nap. Now she sleeps when we do, wakes 11 hours later, and naps 4 hours after she wakes up for however long she needs. She put herself on a schedule, in a sense.  We tried to put her in her own bed, and we tried putting her down to bed before us. The problem with that was she likes to cuddle and she would roll over to hold onto someone and find no one there, she's wake up in a panic, in the dark, and then proceed to climb out of bed and bang on the door like an inmate. She, in my opinion, is too little for a drastic change- or actually, not too little, but at this stage in her development she's sensing feelings and she was sensing something negative from what we were doing and it was CHANGING her! She was never the type to cry when her dad went to work, and suddenly as soon as the door shut she would scream bloody murder. If I was in the bathroom and shut the door, she would get sad and call me until I was finished. She was going through separation anxiety like most kids her age do, and it wasn't a good time to change things up. Bedtime for her was safe time, and I couldn't force her.

All of the other goals to do with her were met, and exceeded what I expected and I'm just so glad. 

So, as you can see, not exactly everything in it's place but there were realizations and changes and I lost that NEED to meet a deadline. I feel better, she's doing very well with our setup, and my husband is still happy so I guess that's all that matters. Kids grow up fast enough without our prompting, so I figure I'd cuddle, coddle, and dote on her until she runs away from my slobbery kisses and stops laughing at my jokes.