The Toddler Hygiene Schedule!

This is our new schedule, I plan to implement it starting this week.

I'm going with experience and pediatricians instructions. Contrary to belief, you don't need to bathe you baby every day (unless they got messy), and since we use water to wash her butt after we change her diaper she is always very clean. I think this schedule is fair, it's not unrealistic and doesn't push it. It's so simple and pretty much a 'no duh' type of thing, but it's about the timing and it's always a good reminder. I ALWAYS bathe her in the morning, and if not, that night (which has been terrible for her curly hair). I don't wash her hair more than every other day because 1) Shampoo is bad for hair, 2) Her organic shampoo does a good job keep her hair clean without greasy residue, 3) Unless she's dumped food in her hair it's not good to get into a lifelong daily hair washing routine when you can easily train hair to wash every other day. 

About the nails- I always cut nails before a bath because under-nail bacteria is really gross and the bath will wash it away before she gets to put her fingers in her mouth. It's a good practice NOT to cut wet nails, so always cut before a bath, not after. The Thursday she doesn't bathe, I do it while she naps so she doesn't even notice, and usually I don't need to trim/check her toe nails, they grow slower so I think I'll only attempt them on Thursday naps. It's a great habit to brush your baby after every meal, but it's not very realistic right now- I'm VERY happy with having it done WELL every night after dinner (however we do have a practice of washing out her mouth with after after a meal, thanks to daddy).

Hope this also helps other moms who need a bit of a reminder, let's not lie... it get's hectic sometimes! It's easy to forget nails before it's too late, and they scratch themselves. ;)

Day -> Item	MONDAY	TUESDAY	WEDNESDAY	THURSDAY	FRIDAY	SATURDAY	SUNDAY
Brush HAIR	Every morning	->	->	->	->	->	->
Brush TEETH	Every night	->	->	->	->	->	->
Wash HAIR	Morning		Morning		Morning		Maybe
Bathe	Morning		Morning		Morning		Morning
Cut NAILS	Before Bath			During Nap			Before Bath

Things to accomplish before Baby #2

I'm someone who needs due dates on my to-do lists. I like anticipating everything being done by a certain time and the pressure to complete things before a certain date motivates me. Usually, when I have a daily to-do list, I give myself an allotted couple of hours (2, usually) and it's like a game as I whiz through my daily chores. It's especially nice when I have 15-20 minutes left over to do extras!

The thing with a baby due date is that I can't push it back. There isn't much leeway. The types of things on my list need a bit of time to be completed, too. That means time management. For me, I view 'the sooner the better' as extremely true. If I wan't something done in 3 months, and it takes 5, then I better start now because there are certain things I don't want to deal with WITH a newborn!

So here is my list of to-do's before baby #2 arrives. I'm unsure of how many I'll be able to accomplish, but they're all pretty detrimental and it would be nice to get a move on!

1. Night wean Elly. I want to wean Eliana fully by the time she's two years, lucky for us I'm due around her birthday so hopefully I'll be able to do it. Elly still feeds 8+ times a day and eats full meals. At night she nurses to sleep, and in the middle of the night she'll wake up for comfort food. Every morning, when she wakes up, she nurses twice- one lazily as she's waking up, and the other before breakfast. Nap time, she nurses (2-3 hours later) and then the rest are on demand through the day. Obviously I intend to nurse baby #2, so a full feeding schedule for the both of them poses as a challenge. I want to at least NIGHT WEAN Eliana before I'm 20 weeks pregnant. From there, we want to...
2. Sleep Train Elly. Like our feeding schedule, we sleep on demand. It's always worked for us and since we were both stay at home parents it was just fine. Now I work (not for much longer, though) and my husband will be going to work full time. Things are about to change and a strict schedule is needed NOW more than ever! Obviously, I'll let her sleep as much as she wants on sick days, but right now she sleeps 11 hours at night and an hour or less in the day. Sometimes two naps. It's extremely unpredictable, except for the fact that her natural rhythm get's her napping at least 2-3 hours after she wakes up. I would like to have her napping the same time every day, sleeping the same time everyday, and sleeping without boobs/being in our bed. I intend to nurse and co-sleep with the new baby, and since Elly is such a big toddler I can't see having 4 in the bed anymore. I would like to night wean her and promptly get her in a toddler bed beside our bed. I'm not ready to put her in her own room right now, maybe around 31/2. 
3. Have a hygiene schedule. Right now Elly showers when I shower, I brush her teeth when she lets me (every day, usually, but not well), and changing diapers/clothes happens when it happens. I've noticed, being a clean mom with a clean baby is hard work. Having two must be a different story! I'll admit I'm not prompt or good at nail cutting, she needs a haircut, and I DON'T brush her hair every day! So sue me! But, I want that to change. She's not a baby anymore, she's a little girl, and if this next one has as much hair as she does I've got my hands full. I want to create a checklist/schedule for her in particular so we can create a solid hygiene routine and so mommy can stay on top of it all!
4. Independent toys. Elly is independent (for being an attachment-parented child with two stay at home parents). I'm proud of her social skills, she speaks well and catches on to things quickly. I'd like for her to keep occupied when I'm busy and daddy is at work, since a lot if about to change in her little world. I'm on the look out for toys which are SAFE and creative so we can nurture that little brain without having to be 100% present. I'm not unrealistic, I know she'll need me 90% of the day, but right now she is glued to my side- she'll do things, but only in the same room, and only if she can show and tell.  I don't rely on TV, and I don't plan to. I'd like to give her freedom. The next apartment will have a VERY safe baby proofed play room, so that's something I want to plan. 
5. Baby proof. Since we're moving again within the next couple weeks, I plan to baby proof from the get go. Painting and repairs will happen before we move in, the next thing will be getting on our hands and knees and baby proofing like pros. I'll always watch her, but I'm so scared that in my sleep depravity and shared attention that I might miss something and she'll have her first real injury- stats show that after the 2nd child the risk rises tenfold! (Pretty sure I was the one who almost pulled down the TV on my brother!)I think the timing of our move is perfect, and we'll be able to create a completely safe environment for her. Also, we'll be able to buy baby safe furniture and baby gates- my two favourite things!
6. Dedicated one-on-one time. I'm a loyal person, I always have been. I feel a bit torn about sharing my love and attention with two, three, four, or five. I never want Elly to feel neglected so I want to start creating one-on-one time with just Elly and Mommy. This seems easy enough, but on top of baby care and chores it's easy to overlook. I NEED to do this so I can stay as connected with her as I am now. It's not something I'm willing to lose. Private picnics, cooking together, reading books, and a special night time cuddle.

These things are all routines, they all require time. I never stuck her to a strict routine because I believe for children her age she didn't need a schedule but for her needs to be met on demand. Now she understand yes and no and stay and go and simple things, so I can hopefully use her understanding in training her. I really hope to have it all done within the next 7 months. Lets hope!

Pregnancy Week 4/5?

YAY! Yes! We're pregnant and expecting our second little love!

First of all, I have to say that I completely had no idea but woke up and realized I hadn't gotten a period. It was as simple as that.

 I tested on a whim and the first test was faulty! Water marks, weird disappearing test lines, totally not believable. So, hubby ran out to get another and it showed positive right away! YES! POSITIVE!

I thought this week was extra hard on me because it was my first week at work, but lo and behold, I had a little cutie in my belly!

We're absolutely ecstatic!

Symptoms:
Cramping.
Some bloating.
Fatigue.

Obviously there are no real changes, I felt like I was getting my period for about 10 days now. Haha. Nope! I have no nausea, no headaches, nothing like that. I really feel great!

Last time, with Eliana, I found out at 5 weeks. I'm about 5 weeks today.

Alhamdulilah. We're filled with tons of joy and big dreams for this beautiful baby. I'm praying for this child to be safe, healthy, and for this pregnancy to go well!

My favourite season

I'm going to miss autumn.
I'm going to miss the smell of firewood burning.
I'm going to miss breathing in the crisp cool air.
I'm going to miss the crunching of colourful leaves under my feet.
I'm going to miss being enveloped by soft fabric, my sweater and scarf.
I'm going to miss the smell of pumpkin pie.
I'm going to miss the grey sky.
I'm going to miss the look of rain drops on dark stone.
I'm going to miss the sound of leaves rattling in the breeze.
I'm going to miss autumnal comfort food, warm and aromatic.
I'm going to miss walking slowly around a beautiful small town as I take in all of the beauty that autumn has to offer. It's truly my favourite season, everything about it makes me calm. Nothing is better than my husband's warm hand in mine and the sound of my little baby kicking in her stroller as we walk around orange mums and carved pumpkins before maghrib. Everything seemed to go in slow motion. Everything was silent, no car horns, just the sound of leaves swirling at our feet and distant laughter from rosy cheeked school children.
What am I going to do without the most comfortable season of the year?

If autumn lasted longer back home I would have never left it behind...

UGH. Too many choices.

Everyone fights to have the ability to choose. People spend time and money to have the right to choose... and then when we're faced with too many choices we naturally want to throw our hands up and say, "Ya Allah give me whatever is best for me!" Which is by no means a bad thing to do, but it all becomes so overwhelming that we sit back and make excuses for not making up our minds.

This week I've been so frazzled. We moved to our apartment in Makkah to stay for good while we worked out my working situation. I had an offer from one school, then two, then three. All had amazing perks, and really, really bad things which made it seriouly hard not to just give up and stay at home with my baby. 3 callbacks... that's more than what I expected and it's great. I'm not complaining. Oh wait... I am. It was TERRIBLE.

I mean, even getting to the first interview was this emotional explosion. I didn't expect it, but the idea of leaving my baby for the first time really hurt me and I spent a week procrastinating because I didn't know if I was ready to leave her.  I got over it, I motored on.

With school A, I saw them first and I loved the manager who interviewed me and I adored the location and the building. I was incredibly happy to land that job, that is, until my brother in law told my husband that the pay was extremely low. For 4 hours a day, 4 days a week I thought it was amazing. It was the hours that won me, just enough that I could get out of the house without feeling like I was going to die if I didn't go home. I liked the method of teaching, I completed the online course, I was ready.

Then I got callbacks from two other schools...

I thought, because of the pay issue, I might as well see what I can get! I rushed to school B. School B was very prompt in replying. They told me to prepare 2 mock lessons, 5 minutes long. The language barrier between the woman on the phone and I had me completely confused and I was really nervous that I would get there and make a fool out of myself during my mock lesson.

I got to school B and I told the front desk I wanted to see Mrs. so and so and she waved me up the stairs. Ok, hella rude, but I ignored it. I walked upstairs and poked my head into 3 offices before finding Mrs. so and so. I got there and she was nice enough, that is, until she made a comment about me being big and tall and that I didn't look like a good candidate for teaching kids because I might scare them! I sucked in a breath and didn't respond. She then got the demo ready, and my mock student ended up being students. They liked my kids demo and then I went into the subject matter that Mrs. so and so had me prepare- grammar in 5 minutes. I turned to the white board and they started whispering in arabic behind me, giggles, and I remembered Mrs.so and so's comment and tried not to think about it but I could feel the sting in my eyes. I wanted to cry, since getting there it DID NOT go well. Mrs. so and so was rude, these mock students who would be teachers I work with could see I was not in my game, I felt like a major idiot. I bombed my grammar lesson.

Before meeting with Mrs. so and so they pulled her aside, probably to tell her I was incompetent. She walked into her office, looked me up and down, and told me that I was hired and she wanted me to work Sunday. She also told me that the demo bombed and she didn't care because it was a stressful situation to be put in... I didn't want to like her. I already saw how they worked there. I didn't feel good at all. The pay, however, was excellent. Beyond excellent. As soon as I left I felt sick... would I really sacrifice happiness for money? Maybe. If I could suck up my pride and walk in there again. It was unlikely.

Then I headed to my next interview, a bit shaken, emotional. It was a really well funded facility, clean, lots of young teachers. I met the manager and we started talking. She was friendly and sociable, she told me she liked me right away and it boosted my confidence enough that I forgot about school B. She told me school C was the largest in the world, and it looked like it. She couldn't give me an accurate idea of what my salary would be, somewhere between 6 and 7 thousand. Later into the interview things got unprofessional. She told me she fired someone because they didn't say Hi, she told me I was taking the spot of someone who she was going to fire for gossip. She offered to hang out and smoke shisha (not something I do...). I was getting a weird vibe, they all seemed very... close. She was the 'popular' girl at work, the boss, and that scared me. A lot. I still don't know what to make of them. They have a driver, the funding, great vacation pay, all the good stuff. But they scared me a bit, and not knowing my salary does NOT help me make a decision.

So now, after tons of STRESS I decided to follow my heart and stick with school A, the pay isn't great but the hours are. The environment looked healthy. They were very professional. Sometimes making choices is overwhelming, hard, and now not something I want to do for a very long time...

This Month! Eid, Eating Habits ( and one HEALTHY recipe)

Eid mubarak to everyone! I've been so busy!

Last week and four days after- I went into surgery for a chest infection. All good now, just healing! Not so happy about the scar but I'm really happy about feeling better before eid! My hospital experience was absolutely amazing and I hope to write about it soon.

Healing and hectic trip to Makkah- my MIL wanted to do Umrah and my husband and I had to travel to Jeddah for my job, so my SILs and MIL joined us for a trip to Makkah. It was really hectic, really stressful, worthwhile, and at least we got what we needed done. I didn't do umrah during ramadan, mainly because it was too crowded for Eliana and I didn't want to risk getting sick so soon after my surgery.

EID- Eid just SHOWED up among the chaos. We nearly forgot. Eid here is a weird, wonderful, festive, and fun experience. I'm so happy to have been here to enjoy it with my husband and his family. Eliana made tons of money and ate tones of chocolate, both things make me nervous! We started her back on Cloth diapers yesterday and let me tell you- it was a mistake. Whatever she ate yesterday was NOT good! Haha! I didn't enjoy being separated from my husband, was thrown in with people who don't understand me while he visited a village worth of family. I missed him, but I did go to a party! It was lovely. The fireworks are terrifying here, not so sure if everyone knows firework safety! Today is a huge village get together, tomorrow my FIL and all his brothers will all go BBQ in the outdoors with their families, all of the 100 or so of us! I'm really excited for it.

I've just been extremely overwhelmed with it all. On a positive note I've got my daughter back on a good sleeping schedule, 930-10pm nightly, which I know is really early for a Saudi kid. I just can't keep seeing her stay up until the wee hours for absolutely no reason. She gets really grumpy, plus my husband and I have some more free time this way!

I haven't been eating as well as I could be. I feel like I've had my fill of chips and fries and sweets and shwarama... maybe not my fill of shwarama, but a lot of it. Our Pomegranates and Figs on the farm are ready, however, so I've been feasting on fresh, organic, FREE fruit. I'm so excited about the variety we have in the farm, all seem exotic and extremely expensive (One Pom in Canada is like $2.50- $3!) I've had WAY too much rice, I'm getting so sick of it! Instead, a couple of nights ago I made up a huge Greek Salad for the family and it was a huge hit. I don't remember if I've ever posted the recipe, I'm way lazy to check. I adapted this recipe from one my Aunt made when I stayed with her before we moved here. It's to die for, it keeps so well and tastes better the next day...

ANOTHER GREEK:

Dressing:
One lemon, 1tsp chopped rind, rest of juice squeezed
1 tbs oregano
1 1/2 tbs parsely
2 tbs Balsamic Vinigar
1 tbs white vinigar
5 tbs Olive Oil
1 Garlic clove chopped finely
4 black olives chopped finely (I hate olives but the dressing really needs them)
1/2 tsp each Salt and Pepper

Combine all ingredients and let sit for an hour.

The Salad:
5 Cucumbers cubed
2 Green peppers cubed
1 Red or Yellow Pepper cubed
2 Tomatoes cubed
1 large or 2 small Red onions sliced thinly
1/2 feta, drained and crumbled (in Saudi Feta is wet-ish and creamy, I cut it into cubes and let it strain in a colander for 2 hours, it was dryer and more salad friendly when I added it in)
2 1/2 cups of cooked pearled wheat (some salt added)
1 can of chickpeas boiled

Combine all ingredients, feta being last. Pour on the dressing and allow the wheat to absorb the flavour, it's much better if you make this salad in advance.
This salad easily fed 11 of us, if you make it in this quantity it will last a small family 2 or 3 meals so it's perfect for us and I make it a lot. Keeps 4-5 days.

Summer Work Attire.

I hate the heat. I'm a hot blooded grizzly of a Canadian and I don't mind the cold- at all. In fact, summer was my least favourite season. Of course, that's how it goes until you marry a Saudi and he swoops you away to the middle east in summer.

Also, I cover. No matter how little goes under the abaya, it's still hot. I'm still covered. I'd still be hot even if I were butt naked. Saudi Arabia gets hot.

Now we're moving to Jeddah and I'll have to sacrifice good weather here in the Saudi South (20-30 degrees) for opportunities and a new home in 40 degree weather. I know, I know- there are seasons where it gets breezy and nice in Jeddah. I'm just too darn hot all the time.

I'm really at a loss when it comes to hot weather work attire. I'm worried I'll sweat off all my makeup, ruin my hair with my shaylah, and wear the wrong clothes to work. I'd hate to do that, and I'd hate to be standing there teaching all those kids while sweat runs off my brow like I'm a disgusting sloppy, meting mess. Lol. Sorry. That's what I invision! I want to find youthful (I'm nearing 23... only. Yes.), colorful, fun, weather friendly work attire that covers my shoulders and is relatively inexpensive. Is. This. Possible?

pic from costalpolitan

I'm pretty dead set on getting some nude pumps, mainly because they match all colours and the dust wont destroy them like it did my back flats. Poor babies. I like nude, I like the idea of having something I can wear with a lot of different items. I like the idea of low maintenance. (Before I was a mother I had nearly 18 pairs of shoes... now I have three. Running, sandals, and flats. All black. It's a sad reality that I don't have time to match shoes to my outfits anymore.)

Q. 1) What would look good with nude shoes in terms of a book bag/ purse. What colour? Should I just get a nude purse?

I'm thinking something along the lines of a quarter sleeve cardigan and a skirt. I dread the thought of 'slacks' and a blouse, I don't want to look matronly or be uncomfortable. Something about slacks always made me feel fat, most are high waist-ed yet not high enough waist-ed to properly fit me. They always cut me off in my ponch area, you know  the area that my child thrived in for 9 months. Yeah, that area.

Q. 2) Nylons, good in hot weather or not? My legs look hellish from mosquito bites. 

Anyway, at the bottom I will include some pictures of outfits I like for summer. Feel free to comment and agree or disagree!

A bright future

Things are looking up it seems! I've made personal changes, not only from within but around me as well. I've laid down boundaries, and everyone seemed to respond well (maybe a few huffs and puffs from my young SIL, but that was expected).

Ramadan always gives me a new start. Everything seems to fit and fall into place this month, the same thing happened last year. I find that routines take shape nicely, too- and I seriously needed some routine in our household! The last three months have been disorderly, I was slack on cleaning and personal goals. I've changed. It feels good!

Basically, our sleep schedule is regular, and even though we'll change it again after Ramadan it's a lot easier to change a pattern where there was one to begin with. Hopefully I'll get my daughter to sleep earlier than my husband and I, it has always been a thing where all three of us fall asleep together. I've discovered that even an hour of alone time at the end of a day makes for a happy marriage, and I'm really thankful for that simple discovery.

With a good nights sleep I've woken up energized and happy. I'm cleaning the house, cooking good, wholesome food like I used to, and I even have time to pamper myself. I'm much happier in a clean house with manicured nails!

Last week we went to Jeddah for a much needed retreat and I must say- my husband completely spoiled me. We ate well every night, we stayed out and did a lot of fun things, we even went shopping and he didn't complain! Sometimes I get the feeling like good things wont last, but not this time. I knew he was doing it all because he loved me and he told me as long as that didn't change neither would the good treatment. It was very, very nice.

In Jeddah we went to an amusement park, the Aquarium, the beach, and a few malls.

Delicious

One night with the Inlaws

The other thing I did was take a huge leap. I got a job, inshallah, with a very well known english school. I'm supposed to start after Ramadan which means my husband, daughter, and I will have to move to Jeddah asap. I'm really excited, though I'm extremely nervous about leaving my daughter because I never have. My husband says he can work it out where one of us is at home while the other works, and that makes me feel a lot better since I really don't want a 'nanny' for Elly. I already feel like 'more' of a person, more 'me'. It will also be really nice to have some of my own spending money, and the first thing I'm saving for is a trip to Canada when I can!

The inlaws don't come over every day now, and I've liked them A LOT more because of it. I knew I needed my distance! We do break our fasts together, which is nice, and a lot less cooking for me to do! lol.

Anyway, I know moving and a new job is going to make me busy but I'm going to try to stay positive since it seems Allah swt has lightened everything that was dark in my life. Alhamdulilah.

Ramadan mubarak!

Ramadan mubarak to everyone! I can't believe how quickly it's arrived!

This Ramadan I'd like to make it less about food and more about betterment of self. I would like to become more tolerant, hold my temper, and enjoy simple things without too much exposure to the tv... internet.

I'd like to learn 2 surrahs, read quran every day with my family, and explore ramadan festivities in an islamic country (which from what I see is over the top! Im really excited for what we will have in store, locally).

Yeah... we ate it all.

I would also like to decorate the house like I did before my daughter was born. I think I will invite all the kids here to do some crafts, like lanterns. Lol, the poor things want to spend time with Elly and I but sleep too early and I keep missing them. I would love to pass time with the kids instead of them passing the time with busy maids...

What I plan not to do is watch all of the smutty, crazy arabic shows that only come out during Ramadan here. It's really curious that scandalous tv dramas only seem to pop up during a holy month!

My husband also plans to take us to Jeddah next week, inshallah.  I keep seeing tons of ramadan/summer related fun going on there and it's calling us! I know  something like that will lift my spirits and is just what I need.

Finding alone time with my husband is really hard with a baby daughter, 8 siblings and their kids around all of the time, now with longer prayers, time for quran, and more people here for summer and Ramadan- this is going to be a hard month, I can already tell. Im glad we'll be travelling a bit. I'm a clingy wife lol!

Even though I want to make the month less about food on a personal level, I do plan to post some pictures of iftar and sohoor with recipes.  I love seeing what other people are having, I'm already inspired to be more healthy this time!

Making changes to make this Home

In the beginning I was in love, the idea of adventure and the thrill of a new life captured my heart and blinded me to a lot of what I was giving up.
Now, two months in, I find myself awake, aware- and all the sudden it's like a slap in the face that just keeps stinging.
I keep feeling lost, or as if I've lost everything. Yes, I've gained a home or two. Yes, it was the right financial move for my family. Yes, my husband is happier. Yes, my daughter is receiving more attention. But I have lost so much- deep, personal things that define me and my person. Things that make me...me.

So now, I'm trying to recreate myself. It's not simple, and the idea is hard to wrap my head around, but moping and feeling depressed is going to kill me-or worse, end my beautiful marriage with a man who deserves me.

I have made a short list of what I really dislike about life here. Like a pro/con list, I've written what I can do to change what I dislike. I know this next month, my demands, my changes are going to cause a fire between my husband and I but I'd rather start a fire and put it out than to let it become uncontrollable.

I no longer wish to cover my face, though I dislike the idea of making my female 'family members' uncomfortable with me. I haven't decided what the course of action is, but it's most likely that once we move out of our small village to Jeddah, that I will no longer cover.

I will demand to go out more, even if it's for no reason. I will not take no for an answer, my husband brought me here and he will have to make sacrifices, too.

I will take my daughter for walks. I miss that, whether it's in a mall or out in the open, we will be taking walks.

I will immerse myself in the Arabic language so I no longer feel detached and dependent on my husband. I will also find a way to be social and meet English speaking people.

These are just a few of the changes I will be making. I have been actively trying to show our maids who and what I am- making myself more comfortable with being myself here in Saudi Arabia. I have started eating with them, inviting them for tea, and treating them like the humans they deserve to be treated as. By doing this, I am setting an example of myself not only to them, but to my husband and his family and all Saudi's I come in contact with. I am not a follower. I am Bridgette.

I have been saying no to people, which I had stopped doing in order to fit in. That has stopped, because I realize that if I allow myself to become a doormat will be seen as a doormat. If I don't want something, I say no. I will make boundaries so I stay comfortable, even if my excuse is " We don't do this back home" or " I am western." Yes, I am, and some things to me are not acceptable.

Yelling at the maid, yelling at my child, feeding my child without asking, inviting yourself in, going into my bedroom, these are all not allowed in my home. I am not Saudi.

It' also hard to say that, but once I admitted I will never be like these people, I felt better. I will never integrate enough to become 'one of them'. I will always be Hani's wife, I will always be the foreigner or 'hawajah'. An outsider. That is okay.

Soon I will have the freedom to decorate my own home, this will include tons of plants, western style couches, an electric oven, and all of the things I loved at home- since the majority of my time will be here, I have to make my home my paradise. I won't be shy about money, wants, or needs. I will try to obtain what I believe is good for me, and good for my family without budging. No sacrifices there.

I'm writing this here because I feel like I'm declaring it, and once it's been published, I'll be held to it. Sound stupid? Not really, I like to think if one person see's this I'll hold myself to it and when the time comes to be ME- I will remember what I said, and that I keep my word.

I will not allow myself to be unhappy here. I wanted this, now I have to suck it up.
Let's hope being assertive is enough.

June

Oh no it's not the 4th of July! What the what? Where did June go?
I've got to summarize since it's been a full month and a lot has happened!

First of all, and most importantly, my baby daughter turned one! My sweet angel, my lovely cutie. I can't believe it's been a full year since I met her! It has certainly been a year of love- and I am so in love with her big brown eyes, head of crazy baby hair, her infectious smile, buck teeth, and little girly voice. I meant to post something memorable but I DELETED IT BY ACCIDENT and was so mad that I didn't blog for another 2-3 weeks. I'm an adult. I don't have a temper.

My husband told me to post that I am the queen of denial. Thanks, baby.

Elly also learned to walk. Yup. 2 days after she learned to crawl she was walking (now running). Remember how I wanted to work out? Well, thank's Allah! I've been chasing a squealing baby for almost a month, my legs are still toned, and I've managed to keep her out of the toilet she so craves to bathe in. It all worked out in the end.

On that note, Elly has lost most of her chubby charm due to running and sickness. I feel terrible. She's been sick 3 times with stomach upsets (likely from teething and being fed by many, probably unwashed, children's hands in my short absences). Mix bouts of throwing up, with a 5 day long breast hiatus because of 4 teeth coming at once- I'm not kidding (nearly broke me down, so not ready to stop BFing), with teething related picky eating, and running- you've got a lean lil toddler. I know I'm over reacting, she's about 25-26 lbs, but she used to be close to 30. She's left mommy to be the only chub in the family now, so not cool.

Ugh.Sickness. I've been sick. Right now I have mastitis, which I'm slowly starting to accept requires medication. I'm not a fan. Fevers, throwing up, lethargy. I excitedly thought I was pregnant. Nope! Last week I fainted twice, WTHeck? They said it was altitude sickness. Before that I had stomach issues. What the hell is going on? Can anyone who's moved to another country please help me understand why this is happening? I'm clean, I'm cautious. Why!!!

Enough complaining. We saw the beach in a short trip to Jeddah. I loved it! It was bizarre, as we left our car was making a weird sound, we quickly drove to a car...place (can you tell I've never had a car yet?), they quickly retrieved a fish hook and fishing wire from our tire. I laughed, oh I laughed. How does that happen? My husband got me assorted delicious cheeses, I was bored of feta, so it was an excellent treat. We ate cheese and sat comfortably in each other's arms watching medieval movies. True love.

I made tacos. So... I can live here now. It's decided. My only fear has been vanquished.

Anyway, I know we did a lot more in the month of June but Elly keeps pinching me and I think that means GET OFF THE COMPUTER MAMA!

This month is Ramadan, I'm excited to experience it in an Islamic country.

Happy Canada Day!

This week I've been very homesick. I don't like to whine at my husband about this place, but there is nothing like being homesick the very first time! It hurts, and all I do is dream about what I used to have.

I always wanted to come to Saudi Arabia, it's an easier life (in terms of necessities: money, housing, food) but with that came a lot of sacrifices. I know the move was better for my family starting out, we've been blessed with two apartments across the country from each other (a nice change of scenery when we want it), a good car (from no car to good car is always nice) and I've pretty much been able to eat and wear what I want. I'm not complaining, I wouldn't be here if Allah didn't will it. I just miss home.

And it's a simple as that! I miss the quality of food (and my favourites), I miss easily finding organic goods, I miss my family (oh god I miss them so much!), I miss not having to cover- not that I hate it but I miss not having to, and I miss walks.

I miss LONG walks. I miss the great walking weather. I miss the freedom to walk by myself, without having to worry a car will strike me down or someone will try talking to me. I used to walk miles a day- no exaggerating here. We never had a car growing up, until we came here I was accustomed to public transit (when I had the change lol) and walking. I miss taking my little daughter out to the park in the stroller.

I also miss my independence and my solitude. I can't seem to keep my inlaws off my doorstep (especially my SILs), and while it's nice and they'd visit each other as much, I come from a very private, small family. I like getting calls before someone pounds on my door. Just sayin'.

I've tried to work through that issue but it didn't work out. Now instead of meeting them with a smile, I'm easily irritated and I don't want them to get a bad impression of me. Yet, it doesn't matter how many times I tell them, or what time it is, or if I'm about to shower- they come a'knockin'. It almost feels as if they are being inconsiderate, and it pisses me off that my husband doesn't feel the same way or sympathize.

We'll see how I adjust in the year.
 Theres no doubt that I will never stop missing home.

Little Adventures

My husband is great! He took me out this afternoon, despite being really tried, and found a lovely place for us to take some pictures and walk. It was a great surprise.

I've wanted to enter or at least get close to a lot of the very old structures here, we tried, until we ended up in front of someone's house and they generously invited us in (as per custom), and my husband is so shy (naturally) and so worried I can't make conversation because of my arabic skills, so we left. It's was nice and interesting though.

Oh, and the reason we didn't get to the old place was because apparently people are too scared and there was no way to get up by car. Just climb. Lol. I wish I wasn't so adventurous! I was bummed out. I can see why people are scared (the believe of Jinn in these old places) but since Richard, I'm pretty much fearless. Besides, knowing not a lot of people trek up in the hills and mountains to these old places means there is more for me to discover.

It's actually very interesting, a lot of Saudi Arabia remains intact and untouched, especially because when you discover artifacts (as someone recently did here, a woman's face in stone that dates back 1000 years before Islam) you don't get money for them like in the West. That dramatically reduces the desire to plunder artifacts for money, apparently. You get named the discoverer which is pretty darn cool, though. Bridgette Martin, explorer? Heck yeah!

I watched a show on Saudi by BBC and it talked about that very subject. I'll have to search it up and post it : The frankincense trail (I'm pretty sure that's what it was). The hostess went scuba-diving and found tons of old incense burners and a ship- never been discovered. Just like that! Isn't that incredible, to know there are so many little things out there to be found? I'm not really the type to remove these things, but take pictures? of course! Everything has it's place.

Beautiful Saudi South

We drove up mountains and down into valleys, we got pretty close to some old stuff, took a ton of pictures, and relaxed. I walked a little, but today was breezy and lovely so a lot of people were out and about. We found a really nice park, it's just being finished and I cannot wait to take Eliana.

Canada is so new so it's always such a thrill to touch and examine things before my time. I'm getting my fill, that's for sure. I can't wait for my husband to take me to the old houses... if we can find a way up to them!

That reminds me, I found these really beautiful flower print hiking boots...

Almost a month!

I've been here 3 weeks and a day. I'm terrible at math so I could be wrong! It has passed me by so quickly, almost as quickly as my daughter's first year... woah.

The weather here is beautiful. I know I'm missing the best season in Canada right now, but it's actually slightly cooler here in Al Baha than it is in Ontario, surprisingly! The sun, the breeze, it all calls me. But can I go for a walk? Nuh uh. I'm trying to get my husband to find a park nice enough and private enough that we can go for a nice long walk like we used to. It's been hard.

My foots been falling asleep a lot, like every day for a week. I need to get out of here and jog. I had a dream last night that I walked past all the store fronts and window shopped. I'm deprived, at the moment.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that people don't walk or my husband wont let me. It's just finding a nice area to do it where you wont get run over by cars or harassed by teenage boys.

It's also kind of hard here with the weird roads up the mountain, if we got down a little to a different area I know for a fact there are nicer parks (larger parks) but the land demographic here just wont allow it. I'll have to wait and pace around the living room a couple more times *sigh*.

My lovely husband took me out to Little Caesars here, it tasted like home and I practically inhaled it. To be perfectly honest, I like chicken and rice a lot, but not as much as my husband's family and I was starting to get really bored from eating. Yes, me! Bored from eating! Can you believe it?

We were tucked away in the family section with our pizza, crazy bread, and wings under the AC and beside a window- the best spot in the lot. I promptly uncovered myself, all of myself. I sat there in my dress, like I was in Canada, except no one could watch me eat. I swear to god I was moaning with pleasure, my husband shot me a crazy look and I had to stop. It was SO good. So good that I had to take picture. So good that I ate half a pizza. I'll admit it. Yup.

Did I mention I haven't had pepperoni on pizza in like 5 years? Like that's an excuse for eating as much as I did, haha.

Then he took me to find a book to write in. I'm starting a gratitude journal and taking control of my happiness! I'm not unhappy here, but it's different and I find it hard to be optimistic when so much change is happening around me. My husband is getting his job back, inshallah, we're moving to Jeddah or Makkah soon, my daughter is 1 in a month, and life here is so different...

I knew I had to do something or I was going to become a big ball of crazy emotion and then the idea was presented to me- a gratitude journal, a book of all of the things that made me happy, all of the things that I am thankful for, all of the things people did for me and I did for them. I can tell you, from the first page, a lot of the stuff is things that my husband has done for me and it opened my eyes to how accommodating and lovely he's been.

So we got that and then we went to a store so I could find a new abaya- which I did! Which I love! It's lovely, it's perfect, dare I say it is beautiful. It's not special but the one I had (which I spent a whopping 60$ cdn on) was heavy, huge, and I looked like someone's Saudi grandmother rather than a 22 year old wife. Anyway, it was 90 SAR, I don't even know where I got it but it's lighter and more comfortable and the boost I needed.



Life is moving on.

Saudi Makeup

Food here is cheap.
So is clothing.
Pretty much everything here is very cheap except for makeup. 

I made the mistake of leaving all of my good stuff at home, hundreds of Canadian dollars down the drain there. All of my nail polish, everything! I thought, like everything else, I'd be able to find it here no problem. Well, I was wrong and I'll be the first to admit it. I'm suffering.

Finding and experiencing new brands used to be a hobby of mine, now it's a nightmare. I am tossed around by products, some look amazing but the quality stinks, some look terrible but have staying power like nothing else I've ever used. It's the mix of arab, asian, and european market brands here that make it absolutely impossible to find anything good or worthwhile without buying, taking home, and either loving or regretting, first.

There are no real huge malls here in Al Baha, so I've experienced a couple of stores in search of makeup brushes. Let e tell you- they are as expensive if not more expensive than Canada. I couldn't even tell if it was a good brand because I've never heard of it! God knows if it's like dollar store quality and I don't know. Plus, you can test on your hand but no where else, so I'm frightened to run out of foundation and have to go looking for that later on.

And the men!
Agh!

Looking good guuuurl!

I love it when there is a nice covered saudi woman at the counter. I politely tell her how I don't speak arabic and she guides me towards the good stuff and is very helpful, when I'm done she cuts me a deal (doesn't use me!) and I usually get something free in the end. Done and done. When there is a man around I feel like he's burning holes into my abaya and my hand with his eyes- especially because I'm english. Then suddenly the 24 riyal nail polish becomes 40 riyals. I CAN READ, MAN!

Anyway...
I hardly talk to anyone without my scary husband anyway.

I can't wait to move to the city where there are malls with sephora and other things I'm familiar with. I guess I can't escape the price, which is a pity, but at least I know what I'm buying.

Now I have to tackle my organic fix and lingerie.

No organic stuff here from what I've seen, not Baha nor Makkah. Lingerie? Awkward, and I'm saving it for later.

If anyone has tips on finding makeup here PLEASE, let me know. I'm stressing!

Week 1- Hello Country, Hello SICKNESS

So we've been here ten days, maybe? I lost track.

We have been so sick. My daughter has never been sick so for her to go from a stomach upset to a head cold was a true test of our parenting and my strength as a mother. I lived with my parents before, so it was easy to take care of scary situations or new developments in her. Of course, everything happens at once and when I'm by myself.

The morning my daughter started throwing up (day 2) we took her to a private clinic in Makkah. It looked a lot like the old clinics in Canada, a bit run down, not very high tech, kind of unclean. I wasn't impressed, especially because I was freaking out over my daughter's projectile vomiting. The doctor only talked to my husband (where I was previously always the one to deal with doctors) and the next thing I knew my daughter was getting a shot for Rotavirus? I basically looked at my husband with a "don't you dare" expression on my face. I still don't understand why she got it, which was a big no-no. I, first of all, would not have taken her to get medicated had she not been vomiting so much the first time she's ever been sick. I went in search of a few reassuring words and some directions on how to deal with the sickness, not shots and two huge bottles of medicine... (one for colic? Wtf!) If I could contact my parents, or someone I would have been able to get advice. It was an emotional fiasco. I was very upset. Needless to say, she was vomiting without diarrhea  so it wasn't rotavirus, and it was easy to deal with (just a lot of clean up)!

The next, next day we met my in laws. They had a great party for us and it was heartwarming to see my husband so happy and comfortable. They're all great people, and I'm very lucky to be a part of their family. It's lovely here in Al Baha (18 degress, 10 at night), we have an apartment to ourselves- so it's been nice to get some time alone, too. Every so often the maid comes to clean, comes to take Eliana to her grandparents, and I get a break (which feels really, really weird).

Our second day her and we caught a head cold thing. My daughter has her first fever, and I was seriously sick as well with  terrible fever. I don't think I have ever felt so sick. We were run down from the stomach issues from before, so this was pretty intense and it's almost gone except for some runny noses.

As soon as the fever was gone, my daughter learned to crawl! Guess how I found out? With my daughter crawling off the bed while I fetched her a diaper. Yup. From the middle of the king sized bed onto hardwood floor. I screamed bloody murder, the maid and ALL of my in laws came running into the apartment to find me crying and my daughter happily at my boob. Lovely.

Now shes standing by herself, walking against furniture, crawling absolutely everywhere. All I can say is Alhamdulilah I feel better now and I can chase after her.

I'm still adjusting. I've never used a gas oven, burned a huge patch off my wrist. By huge I mean the size of three fingers. Man I'm an idiot. I have had such a good impression on my in laws... hahaha.

I really miss my family. It kind of hurts when I see my husband and his family of 10. I miss my family of 4 back home, and my Auntie Jenn, and my Uncle Chris, and my cousin Pat. My little family. I miss them, and of course I talk to them, but I've come to realize it's not the same. Not even remotely. I cried like a baby when I was sick, I wanted my mom. I won't even lie about that or leave it out. The feeling I had when my husband lived in Saudi and I was in Canada was sad and longing- now I feel that for my whole family. At first it felt like I had done them some injustice by leaving them and taking my daughter, obviously it's not true, but I'm just very attached to my family. I miss you guys.

I've discovered Sun Top, Rani, Miranda, vimto, and Shani. My best friends. Drinks here are awesome, Sun Top is just orange juice, Rani is sparkling orange with pulp (mmm!), miranda is an orange pop, vimto is a fruit drink, Shani is a fruit pop. All of them are amazing. Arabic coffee is amazing. Tea here is amazing. Yum.

My favourite food these days has to be BBQ chicken arabic style. I love the char flavour, it's so juicy, not overly spicy and quite nice. Arabic bread here is fluffier and fresher than at home. Cheese is good here, and yogurt is a huge thing here. Both are very good quality- your fetas and yogurt cheeses are all top quality. The mozzarella is sub par, and the cheddar... Oh god no. It's ALL processed. By all, I mean I can't even find brick cheddar cheese here. Just american processed cheddar, can, cube, and brick. Bleck! That's something I really miss (I used to eat it daily!).

I was craving homey foods and I made chili last night. It was just what I needed to wind down. I never used to understand comfort food (though I guess all food was comfort food to me lol) until now. I seriously went from grumpy and pessimistic to full and satisfied in a meal. It meant the world to me.

On that note I need to find a way to work out here. I can't just as well go walking by myself like I used to. I can't find a female gym, especially here in the south. I think when we're in our 'all the time' apartment I'll invest in a treadmill and bike again, I don't really have a choice because the amount of food I have consumed and the introduction of my first family car has been detrimental to my body, I'm afraid. All ready, I know!

I ran around and danced in the living room with Eliana, she absolutely loved it and squealed as I jumped and spun. I will do it again, I neglect my arms when I work out but at least I forget about them when I'm holding her. It felt good and made me happy. I collapsed, out of breath and laughing. Elly put her little hand on my chest. What a darling cutie. That kind of work out has got to be good for both of us.

I find that I sleep an awful lot. I'm working through my issues. I haven't been in the best mood, but I'm getting there. I think it's because I'm lacking my daily walk. I've gone from at least 1 mile a day to 0 in a week and it makes me feel really unwell. It's not something I'm willing to compromise. It's so easy, I need to get my husband on board again. Even if he just takes me to a park (what am I a dog?) 4-5 times a week at night.

Clothes here are... eccentric at best. Very different fashion than back home. I'm getting used to that too, though, I have to say, I look darn good in some of the stuff. Though, I'm scared to find pants. I'm like a foot taller than anyone I've come in contact with since we got here. Haaa!

OOOH! But shoes are lovely and inexpensive. I got a new pair, black flats with silver... things. Oh god. I'll insert a picture later. Will send mom shoes. Promise.

Baby items here are chinese and arab made, a lot different than the toys r us stuff back home. The range from sturdy and safe to flimsy and scary as hell. My father in law seems to be a pro, however, and has spoiled my daughter beyond repair.

My brother in law is getting married in a month so we went to get dresses made. This is being run by my sister in law, Sharifah. From day one she recorded my colour preferences and my favorite style. She then went out and got a fortune worth of fabric- wine and gold- and told me I was coming with her to get sized by the people who will make my custom designed dress. I told her, I want quarter sleeves, mermaid bottom, slightly scooped neck, and breast feeding friendly. What she designed was something dreamy.

It's quite interesting how this whole dress making thing works: we left the house at 11pm and drove to someones house. We went behind the house the a shed. A shed. I could fit like 3 people at most! It looked like we were on a drug run, my mother in law and two sister in laws and I got out of the car. I entered last. It was like entering the tardis- Oh my god. The biggest most luxurious room I've ever been in. Not a room, a SHOP! It had henna areas with velvet chairs and fabric hanging from the ceiling and the most delicious perfumes. They had coffee and treats. I passed, because my daughter wailed as she was measured. Like seriously screamed at the top of her lungs. I don't know why? Anyway, that was one serious adventure.

More updates to come! Tata!

Hello Saudi Arabia!

We arrived two days ago, at Jeddah airport, and hastily made our way towards Makkah.

I can't describe how I was feeling, I was overjoyed and at the same time I was so emotional and upset over the distance I put between my family and I. I was really heart broken, I clutched my daughter as I weeped all afternoon.

Let me tell you honestly: the road from Jeddah airport to Makkah makes a seriously terrible impression. I was excited to enter the Holy city- somewhere I thought I would never be permitted to go- but the outskirts of Jeddah and makkah were full of filth and poverty, which to me seemed like it went on forever.  I felt sick that moment I wondered if I had made an irreversible mistake. 

I watched Bangladeshi men walk by in tattered clothes, service our car, and carry on with determination to make the buck they need to eat.  One happily and so gratefully accepted $2 CDN (the tip was like 10 SAR) with a huge smile, I turned ny head so I could swallow my sadness because I had never really seen such poverty except on TV.

My husband generously tipped poor workers as charity and thanks to Allah and I weeped. I saw his happiness and accepted what I had chosen. A life awat from what I knew, that shielded me from sad scenes and the reality of poverty... and death.

Perhaps it was bad timing but a Syrian children's song played.  Once I realized what the words were I felt ill. They sung about their dead siblings and friends- something so close to me in such a different way. Someone took thier family away where only a simple accident took my brother. No injustice, just a tragedy.

In fact I have been glued to a program here. A livestream of Syrian rebels: 24 hour monitoring of who I consider family in my religion. I watch as these men walk miles, forgetting fear in the name of safety for thier people, their wives and children. I never saw something as terrifying as this program, and though I'm fairly numb to death after my brother, I still see the grip on sanity and reality these people have after losing everything. I cannot say I was so familiar with loss.

So we entered Makkah: all I saw was garbage and unmaintained stores. It reminded me of Toronto so much. I felt disappointment. Until we got into the center of the city.

I fell in love with the mountains and marble and the happy people. I saw The madjid al haram and manicured palms and foliage. I saw huge malls with la vie en rose and the latest in fashion.

I'm never hot because ac pumps chilled air onto me constantly. A man pushed our grocery cart for us and another carried and installed the car seat.  At first the service was unwelcome as I was so not accustomed to it- I come from a country where real service easily becomes perceived as loss of dignity and considered 'too much' work for money. I happily tipped for service and recieved smiles all day. My husband negotiated prices and got 40$ CDN off the car seat.  In Canada you'd be laughed at.

I was upset that my husband worried me so much taking me to such scary places, I told him how I felt relieved that it wasn't all bad and he couldn't stop apologizing.  "I didn't think I just took shortcuts!"

I'd rather take the busy scenic route believe me...

This morning Elly and I came down with something. We feel better now but I was so sick and she was throwing up (she's never been sick) so Hani and I panicked and took her to the hospital. She got an injection for rotavirus and is doing well. We probably got it from being exposed at the haram.

The morning after we arrived we went to do omrah. We did, it was 3:45 am and fairly empty (for being the religious center for millions). I fell in love with the feeling there, even Elly was peaceful as we carried her around. 

We have been adjusting well while staying at my inlaws. We plan to meet them the first time tonight.  I'm excited and nervous.

So far there has been so much to explore and a lot going on. I'll update in a week where I will have travelled across the country to my husband's home.

Leaving today!

So it is our afternoon of departure, I know today will be filled mixed feelings but I am majorly excited!

Our plane ride is about 10 and a half hours to Jeddah.  we have packed and we have taken the train to Montreal where we will leave from. All we have left to do is wait. I will update when we arrive 1 a.m. here in Canada. That will be around 8 a.m. there.

We are so excited that this has come so quickly, which feels funny to say because we waited so long...

Goodbye Canada.

To my family and friends: we will miss you all terribly. I woke up this morning scared and uncretain if I would be able to leave you all. I know it's been years in the making but nothing could prepare me for the feelings I will feel or lonliness I will have to overcome when I miss your support and love. I know we will all be in contact, it just makes me sad that I wont be able to hug and kiss you when I want to.
Mom and dad, you gave me the strength and knowledge I needed to explore the world and fall in love in impossible circumstances.  You taught me family is everything so I am torn. I love you both with all my heart. I'm crying because I owe you so much and, in my heart I am still a child being seperated from her mom and dad. I will miss you.

Robert, I love you. We just have each other but i am leaving happy that you have Jenn and a whole life ahead of you. I will be there when you need a friend, guidance, a sister. I will be there when you need me and when you celebrate your happiest moments. I will miss my little brothers and the place we grew up...

To my friends: you gave me support and confidence that I could conquer a new world. You gave me confidence in myself. Emma, you have grown with me and now we are in opposite parts of the world but you still hold the hugest chunk of my trust, love, and friendship I know will last. Many miles can't erase many years with you. Maryam, I hope to see you in May!

Now it's time to pack and face this huge change.

Adjusting to a new mindset

I'm not even in Saudi yet and I'm already adjusting.

It's been a hard 10 days since we found out, I'm mourning my younger brother all over again (I think it's because I remember him here), I'm afraid of missing my parents, I'm trying to make lists upon lists of to-do's and clothes, and I'm changing my mindset.

It was 5 or 6 nights ago when I was laying in bed and realized that my current breastfeeding technique (take baby, whip boob out, feed and mind my own business) is not going to work anymore. I quickly envisioned a horror that make me cringe- my daughter wailing for food and me scurrying to a nursing room under scrutiny of other parents. What if I couldn't find it? My Arabic isn't that good! What if it was far away? Or there wasn't one? Would I have to go to the car every time?

Such a trivial matter smothered in worry.

I rushed over to my husband and actually yelled at him. Like it was his fault. I admit it, I was crazy, I can be very crazy. I don't know why I was so upset over it. I felt like the move was disrupting my balance, my routine.

Well, it's exactly that. It will. My routine and the things I enjoy here will change. Maybe not all of them, but I'm sure most of them. My husband tried to calm me and said, "Well my mom does it in the private family section of restaurants. She pumps and uses bottles. It'll be OK " Pump? PUMP? I hate the pump. I was bummed out, until I looked at him and remembered exactly why I was going.

I was going to be with him. Our little family was going to thrive there (unlike here *sigh*) and it would be stupidly selfish to break down because moving threw off my rhythm.

That moment I had an epiphany. I acknowledged that everything was going to change for real. Moving like we had wanted to for so long was really going to happen and it would be hard. I accepted it! I had to realize that I needed to change my mindset because Saudi ain't about to change for little ol' me. Talk about a 'it's all about me' drama moment. Maybe that's all it took to ground me and brace me for my big move...

... So now I'm feeling better. I'm actually excited- I'm planning and imagining. I received my Saudi garb, I wanted something new to make me feel a bit better about it. The abaya I got is really special- not because it's glitzed out (because it's not) but because it's extremely lightweight. My 'canadan' abayas, as I shall call them, were thick and unbearable in warmer weather so I'm extremely happy with what I have. The niqab is too short (not unwearable, just small) and not what I expected. I once had a very long three layer, I didn't need a scarf under because it covered my hair. I liked the lightness of not having to wrap up and then cover. I'll have to find a new one later.

Eliana's Nana got her a bunch of adorable summer clothes (Canadian summer clothes, and  what will become Saudi Spring time clothes) which I can't wait to see her in. My husband is in a better mood now that we're on our way to having our own apartment and a car. Can you believe he's gone a year without a vehicle? I thought it would kill him but alas he survived. He's gotten used to buses.

I won't miss 'em.

So, it's just a matter of time before the embassy receives our information and we can get going.

I need to take a breath, relax, and enjoy.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

We are going to Saudi within the next month, our marriage has been approved and everything is on its way! I cant believe how excited I am (we are) that our own life is about to start.

The plan is to fly into jeddah, then makkah to our apartment and to do umrah inshallah.

I can't wait to meet my inlaws properly and start a new chapter.

I've  always been very open and adventurous but it will be interesting to see how I like it and how I adapt to my new life in Saudi Arabia. I'm pretty nervous about the long flight but its not like its a week long...

My husband is over the moon and since we got the news 2 days ago he's had a hard time sleeping, we have, after all, tried to get this done for five years.

Alhamdulilah,  finally we have an answer and we can plan a little bit for our life as a family. 

I'm sad to leave my family behind but we've wanted this for so long that they are happy for us and that makes this much easier,  its kind of bittersweet actually.  I've had a good solid and memorable year with them and im thankful for that.

My husband is looking for his job to relocate him to Jeddah and us (family) to makkah where home is but we might end up in riyadh, he says that the drive from makkah to jeddah for work is worth it but we'll see. Part of me really wants to be in al baha where his family is from since it has such nice weather, but I'd love Makkah just as much or more I'm sure!

Anyway until we're on the plane I'm here enjoying my last few weeks with my family and saying a very long and sad goodbye.

Ottawa

Well, we arrived to Ottawa on Tuesday. so far we are loving living in a hotel. I have to admit it is awesome having Someone to do my dishes and laundry.

We have been enjoying ourselves in our last few weeks in Canada inshallah. I'm really anxious to settle down and have my own apartment but I am trying to relax and enjoy my family.

I will update about food and Ottawa tomorrow. for now I am Very tired and I'm going to catch some sleep so I can document life here'in a video.