Finding Humor in Marriage

Looking from the outside, marriage seems to be the butt of many of jokes. It's funny! There re shows, books, and countless movies on the topic... but what about real life?

I've seen very funny people married to other funny people, it's great from the outside- they have a chemistry and they complement each other, they are always smiling. Until my friend tells me "he doesn't take me seriously" or "he doesn't respect me". He might even have the same complaints. I think this has to do with the type of humor. Always being around a comedian can get tiring (even as a close friend), especially if the funniest thing in their life is you. Sometimes you don't want to be made fun of, they might take personal moments and turn them into jokes, then you withhold things to avoid all of the embarrassment.

There are some people who are strictly business in marriage, they may laugh occasionally  but tensions and issues between them make it difficult to open up. Laughing is the last thing on their minds and the love seems lack luster.

Then there is everyone else- a few laughs here and there, between fights, every day issues, serious transitions  and children. Sometimes we lose track of the last time we really laughed with our spouse, I often hear myself say after a bout of real laughter "I haven't laughed like that in a long time..." maybe I have. Maybe just not with my husband.

When we're goofy and in a lighter mood the fists go down and we're less likely to fight. It's like intimacy, when people are not intimate they get further and further away. Tension builds, and sometimes even resentment. He may get jealous hearing you laugh with your friend on the phone, you may feel ignored by him as he watches TV for entertainment.

We've had small vacations or outings where we were in bad moods, there was no laughter, and no real memory. Outings with children are usually so hectic you run and get things done rather than smelling the roses. It's sad, especially when you try your hardest not to take someone for granted like I do. I always want to keep all my memories in a jar for that sad day when I don't have that person any more, it makes me melancholy just thinking about all the times I couldn't laugh with my husband for some reason or another.

It's impossible to be happy all the time, I know that- but I'd like to bring more laughter into my marriage and bring back that 'friendship' we once had. I'm going to make a list and try to remind myself, because in my mind I think routines equal health, not only in body, but in your mind and spirit as well.

The Laughter List
(It may or may not even be possible to laugh this much, maybe we could laugh more. Tweak this over time.)

1. Watch a funny movie or comedy twice a week with spouse.
2. Turn what could become anger into humor. (Example: He's not paying attention, " There's a quiz after this, you know!" But remember it's very important not to make it sound sour or like sarcasm. Don't make fun of that person  to cover your anger, and don't hurt them with tasteless humor.)
3. Reminisce. Remember funny times together, don't always wait for that person to bring things up- do it yourself. Remember when is a good game when you're not remembering how that person hurt you one time or forgot something and so on...
4. Make memory space- ditch everything that you remember that's bad about that person or what they did at least once a week. You'll be better for it. Don't ignore warning signs though: abuse, cheating, lying...
5. Instead of getting frustrated at someone take a breath and be calm, make fun of them afterwards. Don't be cruel, and not all the time, but sometimes it will make you feel a little more calm dealing with someone else on a daily basis. 
6. Watch your children/pets together. Constant source of amusement- when they aren't crying. 
7. Share jokes. 
8. When you see them, smile. 

Preparing for the worst?

I've seen a lot of videos on youtube about Preppers: people who prepare for natural disasters, war, Armageddon...the end of the world. I'm addicted. It's amazing how much these people plan, stock, and train for serious life altering events. A lot of it is common sense our grandparents all knew but was somehow lost in our comfort. The other half of it is completely over the top.

It all started with videos on people's pantries. I love food, I love anything to do with the kitchen, so naturally I want to see what other people do to make cooking easier and more cost effective. I came across an American woman who had 300 lbs of milk products that could last her family of 7 for 3 years ( 25 lb boxes, number 10 cans, everything)- this included dry milk, canned cream, boxes of milk, freeze dried cheese(?), and cheese making kits. I'm a person who has never had boxed/canned/dry milk (I'm serious!), so the idea grossed me out at first. Also, to have such an excess of food stored in your home seems a bit hoard-y.

I watched more- people with bug-out (getaway) homes and land in other countries with more rural living in case of an economy crash, and thousands of bug-out dollars saved up so they could fly/drive anywhere to be safe. It all seems pretty smart to do, and they all seem so, so scared...

I'm all for preparation, it's sunnah & part of our religion to teach our kids survival skills. I don't however think it's worth all of the time, space, and money to save up 3 years worth of food when your home could easily be ransacked/burnt down in a disaster and leave you food-less AND penniless. That doesn't mean a small storage isn't smart, I buy in bulk when there are sales because Canada is constantly in a wave of inflation/deflation and the prices of things change all of the time with economy and season.

Here is what I would do to prepare for the worst, without breaking the bank or looking paranoid:

• Learn first aid
• Teach my children to swim, ride, drive, cook, and hunt 
• Learn basic medical skills 
• Learn how to survive in the wilderness/dessert 
• Learn to make a fire in as many ways possible
• Learn to find water (most importantly)
• Get in shape, get my family in good health
• Learn to fight and learn proper self defense(a lot of people believe that the collapse of order will create chaos, so it would be smart to learn basic defense)
• Learn basic homemaking- sewing, washing...
• Basic knowledge in what is edible or not in the wild
• How to build a simple shelter

I'd love to know these things and practice sometime, it seems important and I feel like it's wired in human beings to survive by any means possible- it only makes sense that as humans we prepare and are concerned about survival like any animal.

This also further shows life isn't about material goods (maybe some, to help you long). I'd much rather prepare with wits and knowledge than material goods.

Most of all, rely on god, be sane, don't panic.

Ha, ha. This is such a weird post. Anyway, if you ever want to check out the stockpiles these people keep in their homes, search preppers on youtube! It's amazing what these people do, it's a lifestyle!

German Chocolate Cream Cake

This is basically one of the simplest cake recipes I've ever used. I love it because if you leave out the cocoa and add 1/4 cup more flour, you've got a vanilla cake. It's so versatile, and tastes rich and expensive with real whipping cream. There is nothing better than a cream cake.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

The Recipe:
3 Eggs
1 3/4 cups sugar
1 pinch salt
1/2 cup cocoa
1 tbs lemon
3/4 cup milk
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tbs baking powder
1/4 cup oil or butter
3 eggs
vanilla to taste

Cream:
Quart of heavy whipping cream
vanilla
4 tbs icing sugar

In a mixing bowl place 3 large eggs and beat it for 3-4 minutes, or until it's frothy and yellow. Slowly add your sugar and beat for 5 minutes on high. Add oil, salt, and vanilla and lower the speed. Slowly add your cocoa and baking powder, and then your flour. When everything is thickened, add milk and lemon until the batter is smooth and well combined. Do not over mix.
Bake for 30 minutes, or until cake has risen and is bouncy to the touch.
Clean the bowl and place it in the freezer for 10 minutes. Cool your cakes for 20 minutes. When the time is up retrieve your bowl and add your cream, mix on high until it begins to stiffen, and then add your vanilla and icing sugar very, very slowly in small amounts. Do not lower your speed. When the cream gets as thick as it can get before turning to butter turn it off.
Use cream at your disposal, this cake is lovely. Be liberal.

Mantu, Za'atar pies, Perogies

Mantu, Manti, Mintu... However you say it or spell it, I made it and it was delicious! I also made za'atar pies filled with cheese and... perogies (not remotely arab cusine, but we like them!) I'm going to tell you the recipes I used for all three.
In Canada we call a meal like this a hodgepodge! Ha!


For the Mantu:
2 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
cold water
chicken mince
parsley
onions
peppers
cumin
coriander
salt and pepper
ginger
clove
chili

In a frying pan saute onions, chili, pepper until soft. Add chicken and cook until just browned. Add 2 tbs of water to the meat mixture and add your spices, use as much or as little spice as you want. Chop a handful of parsley and mix into the meat mixture.
In a bowl combine flour and salt, add water until your flour comes together- not a lot. The dough should NOT be sticky, wet, or soft. It's rather stiff. Knead for 5 minutes and let sit for 10 minutes before proceeding with the dough.
Cut the dough into half. Cut each half into half and keep cutting until you have divided your dough into even 2 inch pieces. Roll the dough into circles and fill with the meat mixture, sealing well.
Steam for 25 minutes, serve hot.

Za'atar pies:
1 1/2 cups water
2 cups flour + extra
Salt
3 tbs yeast
3 tbs oil
Za'atar spice (or you can just use sesame seeds)
Mozerella
One egg beaten

Preheat oven to 375. Mix oil, flour and salt together until the mixture is crumbly. Add yeast to warm water and let sit until frothy. Mix the yeast water into the flour and keep adding flour until it creates a soft springy dough. Let sit 5 minutes and then roll out, fill it with cheese. Beat an egg and wash the top of the bread, add your Za'atar and bake until golden brown.

Perogies:
2 Potatoes mashed
1 cup cheese, grated
salt and pepper
1 1/2 cup flour
1 tsp salt
Remaining Mantu dough
(same dough recipe)

Roll the dough similarly as you did for the Mantu and cut into circles, mix mashed potatoes with cheese and season the mixture well. You can add any spices you'd like. Fill the circles of dough and seal very well. Put a pot on the boil and slowly ass your perogies. The perogies are cooked when they rise to the top of the water. If you wish you can fry them with onions after, as I did.

Coconut Caramel Pound Cake

The recipe for this cake is incredibly easy to remember. Not only do most people have all of the ingredients on hand but it costs a mere fraction of the usual price (doesn't use butter or an insane amount of sugar) for a traditional pound cake- without sacrificing thickness, richness, or flavour.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Coconut Caramel Pound Cake with Custard and Tea!

The recipe:
1/2 cup coconut
1 cup yogurt
1 cup oil
2 cups sugar
3 cups all purpose flour
3 eggs
vanilla to taste
1 tsp salt
1/2 tbs baking powder
2 tbs brown sugar

Caramel:
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup milk
4 tbs butter or margarine

(We had it with caramel custard)
2 cups milk
3 eggs= 2 yolks and one whole
4 tbs all purpose flour
2 tbs sugar
vanilla

For the cake: add yogurt, oil, eggs, and sugar into a bowl. Mix until it becomes a very thick and yellow. Reserve 2 tbs of coconut and put the rest in a blender, blend coconut until it become a fine flour. Add vanilla, salt, baking powder, coconut, and flour and mix until incorporated. Do not over mix.

Find a dish to fit the batter and grease it well, put the batter in and spread it evenly on top. Place in the oven. We cooked the cake for 40 minutes and that was perfect, the middle should be risen and not moist- the cake should be fluffy and uniform. You will find the cake is quite brown, that's typical of pound cakes and cakes with yogurt. The cake will be very dense.

Separate 2 of the eggs and leave one whole, mix sugar, vanilla, and flour into a bowl and set aside. Heat up the milk until it's scaling and add a cup of it to your egg and flour mixture (hot)- whisk until it's smooth and the eggs are tempered. Add this mixture to your milk and continuously stir until thick and creamy.

Wash the pot and add your sugar and fat, cook until the sugar dissolves and starts to bubble. Add milk slowly and cook until bubbly. It will become only slightly thicker.

Pour half of the caramel on top of the cooled cake and sprinkle coconut and brown sugar on top, add the rest to the custard and whisk in.

This cake freezes very, very well for up to 3 months.

Pound cake should be served with custard on top and some tea.
Enjoy!

Cloth Diapering

I cloth diaper and I love it!

I use a brand called Lovely Pocket Diapers, and they are truly lovely. Before my daughter was born I researched about the different types of cloth diapers and I decided that the `pocket`style diaper was the one for me, not only does it clean well but it requires very little work and is uncomplicated. They also don't damage as easily as some other styles. I chose to find pocket diapers that were one size with snaps (Velcro is less durable than snaps) and LPD had an amazing variety with a beautiful price. On average a diaper from LPD costs $7 which is on the very low end (if not the lowest) of the price range.

Natural Disposables: 100 diapers= $41.00 

Diapers can vary from $30- under $10. This depends on the material, make, brand, and specifications. The diaper I got were well made using great materials that cleaned well, therefore, I was wary about their price in the beginning. I had seen so many diapers in the high 20's that I could not rationalize how this brand could be so cheap. Lo and behold, as soon as I had them in my possession I knew I saved a lot of money for some wonderful diapers.

Some may choose to cloth diaper because of their financial situation. You can save $1000+ a year in diapering your child with cloth as opposed to disposable. As long as you wash and care for the diapers as recommended by the manufacturer you can diaper all of your children through potty training with the same diapers. Some people choose cloth because of the ecological imprint of diapers, or because they know they will never have to run out and buy them. A lot of people also prefer cloth over disposable because they see cloth as a healthier option that eliminates exposure to the chemicals and materials used in disposable diapers.

I cloth diaper for all of those reasons. 

In total I spent $230 CDN  on 20 diapers and a diaper bag, as well as 30 cloth wipes. I got 1 or 2 free diapers (LPD has amazing sales and offers which you wont find with bigger brands), the average Canadian spends close to $2000 upward on disposables so I know I got the better deal.

My 21 diapers last 3 days without washing for Eliana alone, I'd probably buy 10 more for the next child. To be honest, I think I'd be able to get by with 30 diapers washing as frequently as I do with two children. That's still less than $300.

A lot of people ask about washing, it's really very simple: You have to be careful not to use damaging products such as some natural greasy detergents and fabric softeners which will make your diapers loose absorbency, so avoid dryer sheets and all the extras. We use a cloth diaper specific soap called Rock N Green (but you don't have to), with a bit of white vinegar in the wash so we can kill bacteria and remove stains. Every month or so we bleach the inserts of the diapers to remove residue, smell, bacteria, and maintain the diapers. Dry on the lowest temperature.

The one sized diapers have fit my daughter from 9lbs to 22 lbs, with some room to spare. They are truly one size and the snaps really help to create a fit that is perfect for your child.

What about travel and wash days? I do admit, I use disposables when we travel long distances or while I wash a full load of cloth diapers. I don't like washing cloth in washing machines at hotels or resorts, so I'd rather deal with disposable in that circumstance. I think we've spent $30 her whole life on them, that's it.

I wonder if women in Saudi Arabia use cloth diapers, if they have them there, or if they have ever considered it! A lot of places haven't been introduced to this concept before, and I'd hate it if they missed the opportunity! I really love my cloth diapers, and so does Elly!

$7 at http://www.lovelypocketdiapers.com/

Quick Enchiladas!

This recipe is dedicated to my sister who never, ever has time to cook. I miss texmex with you!

These are something new I tried tonight, and let me tell you- they were easy, delicious, and filling.

You'll need a bit of preparation, but on a night where you have the ingredients on hand it's amazingly effortless.

Corn tortillas, frozen.

You'll need corn tortillas, but if you can't find them you can use tortilla bread (made with flour). I could find recipes for both the corn and flour tortillas online, it's so basic and simple I'll leave it to you. You will also need a can of salsa, but if you cannot find salsa, use onions, tomatoes, and chilis and make a sauce that way. You'll also need to preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

The recipe:
1 can of tomatoes or 2 tomatoes chopped
1 green onion
1 small white onion chopped
2 spoons texmex spice (I made my own)
1-2 chicken breasts (I used one)
2 tsp chopped garlic
salt and pepper
2 red and yellow peppers
1/4 a cabbage
1/2 cup black beans
1/2 cup corn
1 cup cheese, shredded
7-10 corn tortillas

(We also made refried beans)
1 can of pinto beans or fava beans pureed
1/2 of the white onion from above
1 tsp of the garlic above
3 tbs the tomatoes above
a small amount of the spice mixture
some cheese, shredded

Sautee 1/2 onion chopped, 1 tsp garlic until brown. Add 3 tbs tomatoes and fry for 5 minutes. Mix in spice mixture and add to your beans. Place the beans in a dish and spread evenly, sprinkle a few black beans on top for texture.

Saute 1/2 onion, peppers, garlic, cabbage, 2 tbs of tomatoes, spices, and chicken. When all is cooked, add beans and corn and cook an additional 5 minutes.

In the remaining oil in the pan lightly fry your tortillas (if using flour, skip this step).

Roll the mixture in the tortillas and place into  shallow ovenproof dish. The seam needs to be facing downwards to keep the shape. You then need to add your tomatoes to a bit of salsa and make a sauce, spread that on top. Add as much sauce as you want, we only like a bit.

Lastly, sprinkle both the enchiladas and the refried beans with cheese.

Bake for 20 minutes, or until browned an the cheese is melted.

Health and Diet update: Advantage Stationary Bike

So, like I mentioned in my last post, I got an exercise bike so I could burn some extra calories on the days I couldn't get physical either outside or with my DVDs. I've absolutely loved it so far, I find I cannot work out without variety of activities because I get really bored of repetition.

I've got work out DVDs that I do on 'Fat Friday' because I'm usually in a great mood and I want to do something fun. My daughter loves dancing with me, so it works well. I can't do it more than once a week because my husband goes to Friday prayer and I never, ever, ever want him to see me work out to my DVDs.

Most days my husband, Eliana, and I go out for a walk. We are crazy about walking, my family has never owned a car so growing up it was our 'to do' thing out of necessity. I like it, but since it's winter and we're in Canada- it's not always possible, especially with a stroller.

The bike is beautiful, compact, and could fit in any small space. I've got it in the smallest bedroom of our house. I love the colour. It works as well as anything I've ever used at the gym. The thing I love the most about it is that it only cost me 98$ + free shipping from Walmart. I saved about 50$ on it because of a boxing day sale, the bike cost me a fraction of what a gym membership here would.

The bike includes a screen, a touch-pulse reader, it shows your time, speed, distance, pulse, and calories. It's so easy to use, it doesn't include a cord (do they ever? I don't know) but you need 2 AA batteries for the display. You can adjust tension. I'm amazed that such a small bike could be so sturdy.

In order to work off the amount of calories I need to lose fat I have to bike for 30 minutes/ 5 days a week. I do 30-45 minutes 5 days a week, and this week has gone very well. It's so much fun, in fact, that I rode for 6/7 days this past week. I work up a sweat without breaking my back, which is nice. I also like the alone time I get while I do it, sometimes a Mom needs that and my mood has changed drastically. I obviously got more than I bargained for with this bike!

To go along with the bike I've tweaked my diet. I allow myself wheat/grains 3 days a week tops- only one meal of those three days (as opposed to bread based breakfast, lunch, and dinners) and potatoes 2 days a week. I eat more sweet potato when I have it on hand and I'm eating more protein. I didn't realize how much my body agrees with beef (which I've omitted for some time now because of my dad and husband)- I've felt amazing.

$98.00 CDN at Walmart.ca + Free Shipping

Exercise bike- because I can't ride a real one...

If you know me in person you know I cannot, for the life of me, ride a real bike. I've got horror stories beyond imagine. I'm actually terrified to ever get on a bike again after last years episode...

My mother got me a bike in June of 2011. It was beautiful! On the way to my parents house from the mall we got it from my mom rode it and showed me how to properly back- peddle since I'd never had a bike without breaks before. It looked easy enough, I tried it for about 15 minutes and felt comfortable enough to ride home. It was dusk, so my parents didn't feel so great about letting me ride (since my track record with bikes is so beyond terrible) but I assured them that I would wear my helmet like a big girl and I'd probably be home before dark. I slapped a backpack with my laptop in it on my back, put on my helmet, and said goodbye.

As I rode I felt exhilarated- it wasn't anything like in the past! I was careful, and though as I got to the major road between my parent's house and my apartment I felt a bit weary, I went ahead and walked it across the street to save myself danger/embarrassment. I was quite wise about the whole thing, very cautious, and happy that I'd have something to cut my 45 minute walk to work in half.

I lived at the bottom of a hill, my plan was to walk the bike down the hill because of how steep it was. There was a school, a few houses, and then I'd have to get off. Passing the school I saw a teacher get in her car, I knew she'd have to exit out of the parking lot from where I had already passed- but the thing is she didn't and I got spooked and peddled really fast to avoid her windshield and it all went downhill from there- literally.

My peddles went so fast I couldn't put my feet on them which mean't I couldn't back peddle to stop, all of the huge rich houses on the way to my abode had rock gardens and two car driveways so I couldn't flop over to the side and crash on some grass either! My heart sped up, I knew I was in trouble. I hit the steep part of the hill before I knew it and flew down it with lightening speed- towards another major road. I was going to die.

I don't know how I thought so fast but I steered to the right and just before I hit the street I flew into a telephone pole: the bike flew, I flew, my backpack flew. By the time I opened my eyes I noticed the bike was bent around the pole, my backpack was 10 meters away, and I was on the sidewalk that once to the left of me... I felt an extremely warm, sharp feeling on my belly. I looked down- blood. Not a lot, but some, which scared me. I sat on the grass and wailed like I did when I was 5, 10, 12, 15 after so many bike crashes and thanked Allah I was alive and that I WORE MY HELMET. I seriously don't know what would have happened if I hadn't.

Well, I do. I'd be pretty mucked up in the head, or dead.

Needless to say, I eventually got home, dragging my mashed bike by the bent-in-half handle bars. The wheel was so badly bent it didn't even turn so I had to use a lot of strength to get it home. I could not believe I had totaled my new bike within 45 minutes of owning it. I was in so much pain, my thigh and my belly swelled so fast it burned.

After that I got yelled at by my parents/husband. I yelled at myself. I cried over my new bike. I went to bed.

The next day I had TONS of bruises, so many in fact, they didn't heal fully for 3 or 4 weeks.

Boy, and my lady parts hurt bad too- so glad I got pregnant after that insanity...

Anyway, the point of this story was I will ride again- and I have. On my stationary exercise bike with nearly 0 risk of crashing unless I fall off of it.

I love it, I'll update about it. I do about 30- 45 min a day and I hope to lose some weight from it.

Ta ta!