Muslims on Xmas

I'm a convert, I'm sure you know that if you've been reading my blog. I converted almost 4 and a 1/2 years ago and it's been a tough transition. I love Islam, I think, like most converts, there is this honeymoon period where everything seems easy and you're oh-so willing to comply, and a rebellious stage, followed by a lack luster love affair with your life, and slowly but surely, guilt because you want to be your best. I did make the decision after all, and it was mine.

It's been hard because unless you're completely excommunicated from family and old friends you're going to have a connection to your past and your culture, habits, and quirks. That's not a bad thing, I think it's humbling and brings me back to earth. However, a lot of converts do go 'Super Muslim' and ditch everything they every knew- names, talents, style, friends, and sometimes family. Sometimes it's good, but often it's a struggle and backfires because inherently you are you.

Change must be made though. You can't take on religion and not offer a HUGE chunk of your life. But do realize: it's betterment of self, and that can only be good for you.

My family is not religious by any means of the word, that doesn't mean we didn't have Christmas. It was a holiday for presents, family, and food. We celebrated because we're Canadian.

I'm a proud Canadian and I love where I came and since becoming Muslim I have participated in Christmas to some extent. I do visit my family, cook a large dinner (I live with them and I wont ignore the fact that they are celebrating), and I do wish them a Merry Christmas- because I truly and sincerely wish they have a 'Merry Holiday', just like I'd wish a happy Kwanzaa. A few years ago I stopped giving presents, though, one year I gave belated Eid presents on Christmas because the time was right and I saw family. I accept presents, but those I give Eid gifts to accept them as well.

I think a lot of muslims who convert are caught in this weird middle ground where they're always going to have to participate to some extent, and a lot of them do it for the sake of 'their culture'. "I'm Canadian, and for that reason I have removed Jesus from Christmas and I celebrate for nostalgic reasons." or "Eid isn't Christmas, it's not the same, it does not fill the void." All of these things I understand. I don't judge. It's hard to lose that part of your culture.

But, more than I like my culture or value my 'self' and who I am I value honesty. I know who I am and who I was, but who have I become? Isn't that the real question? I like to represent what I believe by my choices and what I decide to do, and if I didn't think I could give up a christian-pagan holiday for Eid- practically an Islamic mega-holiday like Christmas, why would I convert? I am not saying I am wholeheartedly the ideal picture of a muslim, doing everything I can or should, but giving up a holiday for me is one of the little things in the grand scheme of my religious obligation in my honest opinion.

In my mind honesty is being true to what you have decided to dedicate your time. Accepting religion is an obligation, and a promise. So is marriage, and parenting, health and earth consciousness  and being an informed human being. It's a waste of time living a double life, trying to appease every part of me that wants Christmas and things that don't go with Islam.

It's more than that even still. I'm married to a muslim man, my little daughter has muslim parents and I'd rather dedicate my efforts on Eid for her instead of pining for my nostalgic Christmas! My new little family will have Eids and celebrate and I will see the excitement on her little face and remember feeling the same- happily. I can compromise this because I believe I can make Eid special in it's place.

As a Muslim on Christmas I wish those I love a Merry Christmas. Thank you for all of the joy, presents, and love. Thank you for the memories and happiness I got this time of year. Thank you for scrambling to get us presents because you wanted it to be special. I'm not trading it or giving it up in spite of you, I've got a whole new little holiday of my own that I hope to share with you. So, Merry Christmas to those I won't see on Christmas again- I'll see you on Eid and expect the same celebratory cheer and love and acceptance.