Controversial Parenting

I don't want to offend. I believe that your choices as a parent are specific to your family, though I also believe in educated parenting. Since a lot of material will be on my beliefs as a parent, I thought this would be an amazing way to give insight!

pro-life vs pro-choice:

I'm not 100% anything, but I am pro choice. I lean towards that side anyway. I believe that every child is a life, inside or outside of the womb. I believe it's wrong to destroy a blessing because you feel you are not ready, or because you made a mistake. However, I truly believe that children and rape victims should be allowed to abort unwanted pregnancies because of the physical and mental trauma it might cause. It's still a life though, and those people in those terrible circumstances who do keep their children are wonderful people who value the human life despite it's origins.

baby wearing: I wear Eliana on a pretty much daily basis. We have a soft carrier we put in the bottom of the stroller and when she is moody or wants to sleep (or eat sometimes) we put her inside of it. She's nearly 20 lbs (nearly 9 Kg) now so it's getting tougher. We went through stages where we didn't have a stroller, do occasionally using the stroller if we were out all day, for a break. Now we use the carrier if I need to be hands free or if she needs some loving while we're out and about.

Circumcision:

I believe that the boy's penis is not the family penis. It's his. However, this really isn't my choice, my husband is a man, I don't have a penis so how could I ever make such a decision for my son? I leave this to my husband, and as muslims we do believe in the benefits of circumcision and we practice it.

Adoption: My husband and I would love to adopt one day. I love the idea of giving a child a loving home, I love being a mother and providing everything that child needs. It's an honour. I also think those who give their children up for adoption because they cannot provide are so strong. I don't think I could be that strong, maybe I'm selfish, or too attached. I just think it's such a wonderful opportunity to give your little creation the best chances at life and it;s so selfless.

baby piercing: I don't plan on getting my daughter earrings until she's much, much older. It'll be her choice and until she's old enough to want them she won't be getting them done.

breastfeeding vs formula feeding: I believe that if you can't breastfeed that's okay, but you should at least try. No one can deny it is the healthiest thing for your baby. It's packed full of immunities and vitamins, fats, and is essential for growing babies. It's a bonding mechanism that God made between mother and baby. Anyone who sexualizes breastfeeding in my opinion is being really creepy, there is nothing sexual about such a natural thing. Mothers afraid of getting saggy breasts from it are pretty wrong, misinformed, and selfish. I have breastfeed my daughter since she was born and I will continue until she doesn't want it anymore.

Spanking: I was spanked. I think most children born in the 90's and thousands of years before that were spanked. I don't think it ruined my life, it wasn't an abuse thing as much as it was punishment. Would I do it to my children? Probably not. I know so many other ways to keep my children from doing dangerous/stupid/disrespectful things, I don't need them to fear me in order to get them to not do them.

Co-sleeping: I'm huge on this. I believe there is this terrible misconception about co-sleeping with your babies. My husband and I were raised in households with 'family beds'. If fact my husband says he slept with them until he was around 4 or 5. I know I was around 2 1/2 or 3 when I slept in my own bed. Other than being terribly convenient and deliciously sweet sleeping with a softly breathing warm baby, it's crucial in my opinion. No one likes to be cold and alone in their bed, especially not someone new to this scary world. My daughter has slept though the night since she was a week old because she is comfortable. I know there are dangers, but if you look at the studies and the warnings- if you smoke, drink, or you have a sleeping condition, you probably shouldn't sleep with your children. Most people DO in fact smoke, drink, and have sleeping conditions, therefore as muslims who have none of these attributes- I'd say sleeping with my children is pretty darn safe. I'm a light sleeper anyway. I will go into this another time.

home vs public vs private vs charter schooling: I would love it if my children could be in a private school or charter school, however, we don't have the money to do that for all of the children we want. Also, we're not very stable, we plan to live between 2 countries and that can make things a bit difficult. I am in love with the idea of homeschooling but my husband is so worried that our kids wont meet people, I guess only time will tell.

Vaccines: I am largely against uneducated vaccinations. I think as parents it's our responsibility to look into what we administer to our children, and you'd be appalled about what is in some injections these days. I also don't feel my infants need a hepatitis shot since they are just about no-risk if not the lowest low risk. We pick and choose what we vaccinate against, when, and how. So far my 5 month old is vaccine free, but then again, she isn't in daycare, she is not babysat, she isn't formula fed, she doesn't crawl, she doesn't have children to play with to share germs, when we are in public places she is usually attached to me. We'll start around 6 months- 1 year. Update: Eliana is 7 months now and she`s received the first of her shots because we plan to travel soon. She did not get all of the vaccines to date, just what we decide was important for travel.

medicating babies: I avoid medicating my baby as much as possible, but I'm not stubborn enough not to give my child antibiotics for infections since it's rare you can heal them naturally. I give my daughter ibuprofen for teething (she has teeth already), but I only give it to her before bed so she can sleep. During the day we naturally remedy teething pain. We don't use cold medicine when she is sick with a cold or flu, we would only use it to keep down a fever which she's never had alhamdulilah.

cloth vs disposables: I cloth diaper. I use cloth diapers by 'Lovely Cloth Diapers', I think their price is amazing. It ranges from $7- $12 a diaper, which is half price of larger brand named cloth diapers.Our stash of roughly 23 (3 days worth) diapers was about 250$ with accessories and we've not spent money on diapers since. I'd hate to run out and spend a ton of money on diapers so this saves me time and a money. I'm very health conscious of my baby, I'm not a fan of the chems and bleach used in disposables, though we used them when we travelled once because it was slightly more convenient.

CIO method (cry it out): We've always been attentive to our daughter. I WIO (whine it out), I let her whine and get aggravated with her toys/ herself because it helps her learn how to entertain herself, it also develops self-soothing skills without being too harsh with her and completely ignoring her. She whines until she figures it out or cries, and then I'm there to praise or fix the situation. I believe babies cry for a reason, since it's their only way to communicate it's necessary to listen to them. It would be maddening to yell for help and know that you're being ignored. How can I expect my daughter to rely on me and trust me if I'm constantly letting her scream for love/attention/food. I'm her mother, no one else on earth, save daddy, should be her comfort.